


Wake Up

by bibliotaph



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam-Centric, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Dramatic Irony, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-The Raven King, Sickfic, Temporary Amnesia, Temporary Character Death, psychic adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15487905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliotaph/pseuds/bibliotaph
Summary: A few months has past since the Third Sleeper had been awakened and Cabeswater disappeared. Adam's life returned to as close to normal as possible. He continued to work and attended his senior year of high school as an industrious student, and things we're going fantastic with Ronan too. However, something strange began to happen to Adam. He woke up not knowing where he was, how he got there, why bruises started forming on his skin. Adam's life was in danger and this time, nobody knew how to save him.





	1. Chapter 1

Adam was tired by time school ended on Friday afternoon. The bell rang out, signalling that the last class for the day has ended, and Adam stood up from his desk wearly. He collected his papers and other school utensils into his bag before exiting the classroom, saying goodbye to his teacher on the way out.

Earlier during lunch, Gansey had caught up to him while he was studying in the library and told Adam to meet him and Henry in the parking lot after school so they could go over last minute changes for Henry’s birthday party. Adam wasn’t sure why they had to go over anything at all, since Henry and Gansey planned most of it. Blue threw out an idea or two but Ronan and himself sat there barely listening, carelessly strumming their thumbs over each other’s hands while trying to make the other laugh.

So instead of going straight to his shift at work, Adam was meeting his friends outside to have a quick discussion. At least, Adam hoped it would be quick so he doesn’t clock in to work late. Adam sighed in relief, however, remembering his work hours for the weekend were at a minimum and actually had time to work on a giant senior project that was due by the end of the year. He wanted to start as soon as possible but was unable to due to certain world-ending-events. He also had stacks of latin homework thanks to the new latin teacher (and hopefully the last for the next decade), and write an essay on a short story they had to read on their own. 

To say Adam was overloaded with homework was an understatement. He was just thankful it was Friday so he could focus more on his studying over the weekend.

Just as Adam walked outside and made contact with blinding light, he heard a familiar voice yell out one of his many sobriquets. 

“Hey, shitface!” 

Adam craned his neck to in order to see his boyfriend leaning off his sleek, black BMW and gave off a tooth widening grin. Ronan wasn’t wearing his school uniform but Adam knew he was ditching school that day anyways. Instead, he wore a simple black tee and black jeans that were ripped at the knees. His hands rested in his front pockets and as usual, he wore a sharp grin that bared his teeth.

“Hey, asshat.” Adam said once he was close enough. “You missed the new Latin teacher give off their introduction.” 

Ronan scoffed at the fact. “You know I don’t give a shit about that.” 

Adam nodded. “His name is Mr. Falkway and he doesn’t allow late work.”

“Still don’t give a shit.” Ronan sang as he grabbed Adam’s belt loops with his index finger and pulled until they were chest to chest.

Ronan’s pale, glacier eyes glinted with something like promise. No matter how cold they looked, Adam knew the hottest fires burned blue and Ronan was the flame. Ronan Lynch was dangerous and someone not to mess with but Adam would burn himself first before giving this up. 

“Damn, Lynch,” Adam stalled, “If you missed me this much then you should have met me in the hallway.” 

Ronan was unfazed by the fact he distracted Adam. If anything, Ronan’s grin widened wickedly. “First rule of ditching, Parrish… you do not enter that hell hole no matter what. Especially when picking up their model student.” Ronan dipped his chin towards Adam and Adam watched his eyes flicker quickly to his lips and back up in question. 

Adam met Ronan’s lips half way. Their noses bumped once before Adam tilted his head and their lips overlapped gently. Adam moved his hands to the base of Ronan’s jaw and carelessly rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs. 

Adam didn’t particularly care what his peers thought about or what they said when seeing two Aglionby boys kissing. It wasn’t the first time they’ve shown affection in public, however those junctures weren’t as evident as it was currently. But Adam didn’t want to hide his relationship with Ronan. He wasn’t ashamed of him.

“Get a room you two!” 

Adam broke the kiss, his hands still on Ronan’s jaw, only to give a quiet glare at Henry.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, Adam.” Henry whined but his grin was evidence that he took no offence. Right then, Gansey appeared behind the taller boy and smiled at his friends.

“You know, Ronan, if you actually attended school you’d be able to make out with your boyfriend non-stop in the bathrooms or in secret closets.” Henry continued, wiggling his eyebrows with excitement. 

Adam felt Ronan start to blow on his face to get his attention. He dropped his hands from Ronan’s jaw and rolled his eyes toward them both while he turned to face his two friends. He felt Ronan’s hand moved from Adam’s belt loop to his lower back, pressing slightly.

“The day I get Parrish to ditch class is the day I’ll actually care about school.” Ronan declared boldly.

It was Gansey that snorted at that. “You and I both know it won’t be school you’ll care about.”

Adam felt Ronan shrug against him, not bothering to correct his best friend.

“Well! Since four out of five of us are here, let's go over my birthday party plans.” Henry said enthusiastically. 

Adam felt Ronan groan in complaint. “The fuck? I thought we were done planning.”

Henry shook his head. “My birthday is in two days, Lynch. Last minute planning is crucial. What if I changed my mind on the green and decided to go with purple?” He sounded devastated. 

Adam felt Ronan’s eyes train back on him, his gaze burning holes in the side of his face. He knew it was his way of silently asking if they had to be a part of this conversation or if Ronan could just take him elsewhere to make out with what little time Adam had. However, Adam had some time to spare and Henry is really excited about this party.

“I gotta go in ten minutes.” Adam said but Henry lit up like a firecracker and motioned them to follow.

***

By time Adam’s ten minutes were up, he and Ronan were long gone. Henry went over the most pressing details and soon enough got everything situated for Sunday. They planned for Gansey to pick Blue up and the two of them will help Henry arrange everything before the party while Adam was going to drive home after work, shower, and be picked up by Ronan. 

It was going to work out fine until Adam realized he’d have to finish most of his homework on Saturday. 

“You think too hard, Parrish.” Ronan snorted, bringing him back the present. Ronan took him to The Barns once Adam was finished with his shift at the Factory, where they were currently laying in the middle of a grassy field behind the house. Opal was running around, attempting to catch a butterfly that was flying. She gave a frustrated shout, yelling at the insect to stop moving so she could catch it.

“I’m planning my weekend accordingly.” Adam replied, wrapping his arm around Ronan’s stomach. He rested his head in the crook of Ronan’s neck, his dusty brown hair brushing slightly on the sensitive areas, causing Ronan to shiver. 

“You don’t plan just your damn weekend, Parrish. You plan your whole fucking life.” Ronan grunted. “It’s no wonder you’re so fucking stressed. If nothing goes how you planned you spend hours re-planning.” 

Adam scrunched his nose from the accusation and lifted his head to be level with Ronan. Though Adam could tell by the tone of his voice that he was relaxed, his posture was completely at ease; with his arm behind his head, holding it up in order to see how Adam reacted while a smirk played on his lips. “How the hell do you figure?” Adam asked.

Ronan scoffed. “Let me guess. You had plans to do your headache inducing homework over the weekend—before you say anything, yes, I’ve hear you complain about how much you have—and you’re actually not working 27 fucking hours but because of Henry’s stupid ass party you’re having to re-plan when you’re going to have time to do it.” Ronan paused with a sharp grin plastered on his face. “How close was I?” He asked.

Adam blinked in surprise. “Jesus Christ, Ronan.” He said with a huffed laugh. 

“I fucking nailed it, didn’t I?” Ronan asked, his grin widening.

Adam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Congratulations you know your boyfriend incredibly well.” He said sarcastically.

“‘Course I fucking do,” Ronan replied and leaned forward to meet Adam’s lips.

They kissed messily for what seemed like hours before they parted, their lips pink and swollen, and breathes coming out unevenly. In front of them, the sun began to set overhead. The sky painted in a mixture of bright pinks and purples; creating a gentle glow of light to carelessly fall on the two lovers. Adam rested his forehead against Ronan’s and took a deep breathe in. 

“Adam! _Kerah!_ ” Opal called. Adam opened his eyes the same time Ronan did and he detached himself from the dreamer’s body. Ronan sat up and squinted at the young girl; at the same time Adam noticed her hands overlapped each other.

“The fuck do you have in your hand?” Ronan questioned. 

Opal grinned. “The butterfly! I caught it,” She started to run toward the two boys, stopping in front of Adam first. She shoved her hands close to his nose and slowly created an opening for him to see inside. 

Adam looked in-between her cupped hands and looked back up to her dark blue eyes. He smiled proudly and ruffled her hair.

“Look’s like you caught a Tiger Swallowtail.” Adam said as Opal shrieked playfully. 

“No fucking way. Lemme see,” Ronan scooted closer to Adam until he was practically sitting on top of him. Opal re-opened her hands, giggling a bit as Ronan peared in. 

“What’s so special with a Tiger Swallowtail?” Opal asked, curiously.

“It’s the Virginia’s state butterfly.” Adam said simply. 

Ronan suppressed a snort. “Of fucking course _you_ would know that.” 

Adam pushed Ronan off of him and fist pumped his shoulder. “Shut up.”

Opal peaked inside her hands again, watching the creature inside with an inquisitive gleam in her eye. “This butterfly is a different color from the one I saw a couple days ago.” 

“There are different species.” Ronan explained. Opal nodded in understanding and turned around abruptly, walking back into the field. When she was a little more than half-way away from them, Ronan yelled out to her, “Free that poor thing before you crush it!” 

Opal did not reply but they knew she heard him. 

After a few minutes of sitting still, enjoying the misty air and cold breeze of the Autumn season, Ronan took Adam’s hand in his.

“Are you staying the night?” Ronan asked expectantly. 

Adam laid his head against Ronan’s shoulder, watching Opal with a careful gaze. “I don’t think I will tonight. I have too much to do. I don’t want to keep you up all night.” 

Ronan scoffed, “You won’t keep me up all night, Parrish.”

Adam sighed, “Then you’ll be distracting.”

“You’re fucking hot when you’re focused.” Ronan shrugged nonchalantly. 

Adam nudged Ronan’s rib with his elbow. “Which is why I cannot stay over.”

Ronan took a moment to consider Adam’s statement before eventually nodding. “Fine. I’ll pick you up from Boyd’s tomorrow.” 

Adam lifted his head from Ronan’s shoulder and cupped Ronan’s cheek, turning the taller boy’s head towards his own. “I should go now so I can beat traffic.” 

Ronan nodded, accepting his reasoning. “Alright. I’ll walk you out.” He said without moving an inch. Instead, Adam leaned forward and begun to kiss Ronan slowly. As if he wasn’t planning to beat rush hour.

They kissed until the sun lowered and the sky became pitch black. The only lights seen for miles where the harsh glow from the house and the soft white glimmer of the moon. 

And by time Adam arrived to St. Agnes that night, it was ten o'clock. His body felt delirious with pleasure and he was humming happily as he entered the cold, dull apartment. Adam felt like nothing could ruin this night, even with the stacks of homework that waited for him to finish. 

So he sat down at his desk, turned his lamp on, and got started.

***

_Adam had no real destination in mind, but his legs had began to move on their own. They led him outside his little apartment building and Adam noticed how incredibly dark it was. He tried to blink in surprise because from what he could remember last, he was surrounded by light from the small lamp that was on his desk. But he felt no movement in his face. He also noticed that he couldn’t move his head, yet he was aware and had control of his thoughts so he made note of his surroundings. As Adam unwillingly walked away from St. Agnes Church, his long arms swaying loosely at his side, he determined that he had absolutely no control of any limbs and ordered himself to just accept it._

_It was a dream, after all._

_He walked for what felt like hours. His body led him past his work, past Aglionby, his other job, past Monmouth Manufacturing, and all the way past The Barns. No lights were on outside the homes he passed and Adam saw no cars speed past him. He didn’t see anyone around him, or anywhere actually as Adam would classify the town of Henrietta as a ghost town._

_It wasn’t until Adam passed a road sign that said he was leaving Henrietta when his body suddenly stopped walking. His eyes moved as much as his perceptual vision allowed him to and noted that he stood in the middle of an empty street with thousands of tall, dark trees standing off road beside him._

_Adam’s head moved upward on its own. His eyes scanned the sky and realized it was darker than usual. Storm clouds moved ominously towards him, blackening the sky as they grew and the wind began to pick up so drastically that Adam thought he would for sure fall over and would be dragged back to Henrietta. But instead, Adam’s body held perfectly still, as if he was trapped in a bubble that allowed nothing to touch him._

_The black clouds drew nearer and quicker towards him until they rolled above where he stood. Adam suddenly felt drops of water land on his skin and he wanted to look down, out of habit, to inspect the droplets but couldn’t move._

_Lighting cracked overhead, illuminating the sky and the world around him. That’s when he saw the shadow standing straight ahead of him. Adam felt fear creep over him like a blanket but his body did not reciprocate when his brain shot warning signals to his legs. He felt his stomach tighten as if he was kicked. Subconsciously, Adam knew that was his gut telling him to run._

_Thunder followed shortly after the light vanished, swallowing Adam in darkness once again. He desperately tried to gain control of his body and wished to be awakened by the sound of his alarm clock. The shock white charge of energy lit the world around him again._

_The shadow had gotten closer._

_Adam didn’t feel himself closing his eyes, but he attempted to close them tightly and tried urging himself to wake up. But when he thought he had opened them again, he was still in complete darkness. Thunder rolled loudly somewhere above him as the rain continued to pour, soaking his body to the bone._

_When the third crack of lightning appeared, the shadow was merely ten feet away from him. Adam felt himself go pale at the sight._

_“Adam.” It seethed, yet smiled with sharp, jagged teeth._

_He felt frozen, not even trying to close his eyes. The world went dark once again and Adam automatically felt something touch his arm._

_“You are my eyes and my hands,” It began to laugh darkly. “You are mine.”_

_Adam could say nothing to help his case. His body held perfectly still as the entity stroked his face and arms, squeezing not so gently. Adam wanted to pull back as quickly as he wished he could disappear._

_“Adam Parrish,” A new and softer voice spoke up. “It’s time to wake up.”_

_Adam awoke._

***

The first thing Adam noticed when he woke up was that he was cold. The second thing he noticed was that he was getting rained on. The third thing he noticed was that he was laying on concrete.

Adam opened his eyes and breathed in deeply as if he had almost ran out of air underwater. At the same moment, lightning danced across his vision sending him into a panic. 

_‘I am not in my apartment.’_ He thought in alarm.

Adam automatically tried to move his body into a sitting position, but found he was paralyzed. 

Panic seized him again immediately but he could only stare at the storm above him. Raindrops fell into his eyes, forcing him to shut them again and Adam briefly wondered if this was what Ronan felt after he took things from his dreams.

It wasn’t until a few moments later when Adam’s fingers began to twitched and soon his toes. Painfully, he was able to lift his body into a sitting position, and he took in his surroundings.

While it was incredibly dark out, Adam found himself in the middle of an empty street. The trees felt suffocating as he sat in between forests, and they danced violently as the wind howled around him. Adam looked down at himself and found he was only in a white tee-shirt and his blue pajama pants.

“What the hell?” Adam said out loud. His voice was hoarse and he felt a faint tremble on his cheek and arm that reminded him too much of developing bruises. However, inspecting what he could, none could be found. 

He shakily got up on his feet and turned around. Behind him was a green sign so he decided to walk towards it, hoping to indicate where he was. 

“Leaving Henrietta?” Adam read out loud when he faced the front, “Why the hell am I leaving town?” His panic began to bubble to his throat, becoming more frantic now. 

It took Adam several minutes to get his breathing under control. He looked around once more before deciding to walk back towards home. His legs still felt shaky but now Adam realized it was because they were sore. 

_‘Did I walk all the way out here on my own?’_ Adam thought to himself, hating the knot that suddenly formed in the center of his stomach.

The blustery wind continued while Adam walked. Prompting the heavy rain to hit his back, the sides of his body, and face in a way it made him think he was getting little paper cuts. He tried to shield himself as much as possible but there was no such luck. No luck, until eventually Adam saw a payphone in the distance. 

“Christ, finally.” Adam said and cheered more internally than externally. He walked up to the device and picked up the phone before realizing a problem.

Adam didn’t have any change.

He let out a colorful mix of curse words and slammed the phone back on the handle. He leaned down so his forehead touched the freezing metal that protected the phone from rain and let out a irritable sigh. 

Adam tried to remember the last thing he was doing before waking up on the street, miles away from his apartment. He recalled getting home from spending the evening with Ronan, finishing his homework, and falling asleep at his desk. After that, nothing. He wasn’t even sure he turned the light from his lamp off. 

Thousands of questions swam in his mind, and none of them made any sense. Adam’s teeth began to chatter and his fingers and toes went numb. He knew the situation he was in wasn’t good. God, he was stranded in the middle of nowhere during a surprise thunderstorm for damn sake.

However, as Adam lifted his arms to hug himself from the chilling weather, he saw a bright light appear in the middle of the road. He walked back out on the street so the driver could see him and waved his arms. 

It wasn’t until it got closer when he discovered the car was a BMW.

The car slowed to a screeching stop and Ronan opened his door, ignoring the fact he was about to get drenched.

“What the fuck, Parrish?” His face hard. Lightning cracked overhead and disappeared in an instant. “Why the hell are you way out here?”

Adam shook his head. “I don’t have a clue.” He said, suddenly feeling incredibly drained.

Ronan made a noise of frustration before opening his car door again and made the motions of climbing back inside before suddenly freezing. Adam watched Ronan’s shoulders tense and rise with a shuddering breath as he turned his head back to Adam’s drenched figure.

“Where did you get that?” Ronan’s voice was ice.

“What?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Adam. God fucking damn it, who the fuck gave you that bruise on your jaw?” 

Adam’s hand automatically went to his tingling cheek and poked the surface of tight muscle and winced. He felt his eyes widened in realization and he quickly looked down to his arm where he found a large hand-like bruise circle around it. Ronan must have noticed the attention Adam was giving his arm and moved forward. 

“I don’t— I..” Adam couldn’t form the words. He didn’t know how or when he got the bruises, didn’t see them either until Ronan pointed them out. When he looked back up to Ronan, he eyed the way his boyfriend’s hand lifted to inspect the bruise itself, but he hesitated and decided against it.

“Get in, we’re going back.” Ronan said when realizing Adam was at a loss for words. His voice laced with venom that wasn’t directed towards Adam himself.

Adam obliged and climbed into the passenger seat. Ronan’s car was warm and when Adam settled down his body felt almost dreamy. 

Ronan made a sharp u-turn and speeded down the road he just came from. 

“I got blankets in the back,” Ronan said, jaw set. “fill free to use them. You look cold as shit.”

Adam muttered a thank you and reached out to grab two blankets from the seat behind him. He laid one on his lap and threw the other over his head and shoulders. Adam’s teeth continued to chatter for a few more minutes while he warmed up.

“H-how did you f-find me?” Adam finally asked. At the same time he looked at the time. 

_3:56am_

Ronan grunted. “I was dreaming when I found you. You were saying a whole lot of fucked up shit that made no fucking sense.” Ronan glanced over at Adam and found him staring. “Anyways, I swung by your apartment and the door was fucking wide open.” He shook his head. “So I called Gansey and he said we should start driving around to look for you.”

“Oh.” Adam replied. “What made you think to drive all the way out here?”

Ronan shrugged with stiff shoulders. “I just had a feeling you were farther away. Decided to take a chance and follow my gut for once.” He grumbled. Adam nodded in understanding, knowing that Ronan doesn’t often follow his gut let alone acted upon it. He leaned back against his seat and sighed.

“I should probably call Gansey and let him know you found me.” He said.

Adam reached for the middle compartment where Ronan’s phone was located and unlocked it. Since Ronan despised technology, he had no passcode for his phone, which made things a little easier.

“Hey Gansey.” Adam greeted after the 3rd ring. Ronan snorted at how nonchalant Adam sounded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Lynch found me.” He replied, glaring at his boyfriend. Ronan heard Gansey speak rapidly on the other side. “I’m still trying to figure that out but I’ll fill you in later.” Adam said. “Sure. Alright, see you tomorrow.” Adam hung up and returned the phone to where he found it.

“Dick sure is eager.” Ronan smirked. Adam rolled his eyes and elbowed Ronan’s shoulder.

“Be quiet, Lynch.” 

“I am curious though,” Ronan expressed, sounding more serious. “What the hell happened?”

Adam grew quiet before speaking. “I’m not entirely sure. I woke up paralyzed in the middle of the road.” Adam stated. Which caused Ronan to raise an eyebrow but Adam ignored it. “The last thing I remember was laying my head on my desk and closing my eyes.” As if on cue, Adam closed his eyes and clenched the towel that was over his head, trying to ignore how sick he felt. “I don’t think I was sleepwalking.”

Ronan’s eyes shifted to the freezing boy next to him, eyeing the newly formed bruises that littered across Adam’s skin.

“You definitely weren't sleepwalking, Parrish.” He replied roughly.

“When you dreamt of me,” Adam looked out his window before continuing, “what was I saying?”

Ronan didn’t speak right away. He let the silence take hold until any other person would have felt awkward. However, Adam was use to the long silences that followed Ronan. Many other people thought it was because Ronan didn’t feel like speaking to them… or was thinking of ways to kill them. But Adam knew he was just thinking, attempting to make sense of everything. 

That, or his boyfriend was coming up with something dirty to joke about. 

Adam got his answer a few seconds later though as Ronan began to ramble. “You were sitting in the middle of an open field, rocking back and forth yelling obserties.” Ronan started, “I didn’t know if my mind was making it all up or you were actually there so I went to find out. But you were screaming for me to stay away.” Ronan said and paused. Adam listened to the heavy rain that fell hard against the windshield in the absence of sound, until Ronan spoke again, this time in a rougher voice. “Then you started saying some weird ass language that sounded old and raw, so I couldn’t understand you very much.” He said and turned down another road with a shift of his gear. “You said you’re body went away.” 

Adam looked at Ronan, even more confused.

“My body went away?” Adam echoed. Ronan nodded.

“I asked what the hell you meant but you shook your head, your eyes went wide and you began to chant that weird fucking language again.” He grumbled. “Eventually you said the words “it’s coming for me.” Freaked me out a bit.” Ronan shrugged, clearly trying to play it off. Adam nodded and looked out the window.

With Cabeswater gone, Adam hadn’t felt anything except the ley lines thrumming with power below his feet. But without a powerhouse, they were just lines of energy going back and forth. Adam began to backtrack from when Cabeswater began to rot. To when they discovered Piper had awakened the third sleeper, whom was a demon, and when the demon took over Adam’s body. To finally, Blue kissing and killing Gansey so he could be the sacrifice to save them. 

Adam was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice when Ronan took Adam’s hand lifted it towards his lips.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Ronan asked, his eyes still on the road.

“Cabeswater.” Adam smiled a little. 

“You think Cabeswater is connected to what happened to you tonight?” Ronan stopped kissing Adam’s fingers, his lips barely brushing his knuckles, and glanced over to Adam.

Adam pretended that the touch didn’t send pleasant shivers down his arm. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll need to see Gansey’s map of the ley lines first and see if it was connected in any way.” Adam paused before adding, “eyes on the road, Lynch.” 

Ronan grinned wildly as he turned his eyes back on the road.

“I love it when you talk smartly to me, Parrish.”

Adam snorted and laughed lightly.

A few moments later, Ronan turned into The Barnes. As he parked, Opal slammed open the front door, ignoring the rain like Ronan had, and ran up to Adam just as he opened his side of the car.

“Adam.” She said, eyeing him. 

“Hey Opal, what are you doing up still?” Adam asked, climbing out. Ronan followed suit.

“He woke up scared.” Opal said, pointing at Ronan. “Said something happened to you.” 

Adam shook his head.

“I’m fine. You can go back inside.” He said. Opal nodded and eyed him again. Adam noticed something more in her curious expression but decided to leave it alone for now. Too much has happened for one night.

Adam walked hand in hand with Ronan as they made their way inside and watched Opal make her way upstairs to sleep. Or eavesdrop on their conversation since Adam had caught her many times before, secretly listening.

However, Ronan didn’t start another conversation and Adam was glad for it. He was beginning to feel a headache start to ebb its way in the back of his skull and wanted nothing more but to sleep. 

Ronan lead him to his room and they walked in silently. Adam grabbed a random pair of sweats off the floor and changed into them and took his soaked tee-shirt off before climbing into bed.

“God, I will never not love your bed.” Adam half groaned and half mumbled as he got comfortable. Ronan took his jeans and shirt off before climbing in after Adam. 

“And I’ll never not love having you in my bed.” Ronan replied as he draped an arm over Adam’s stomach and froze.

“What?” Adam asked.

“You’re so fucking cold.”

“Deal with it.” Adam turned slightly to kiss Ronan’s lips. Ronan returned the kiss greedily and cupped Adam’s jaw gently. 

“I’m,” Ronan began but continued to kiss Adam in between his words, “going to watch you like a hawk tonight.”

Adam stopped kissing Ronan to look at him.

“That’s really creepy, Lynch.” 

“What’s creepy is that you have no recollection of walking out of your damn apartment and walking several miles away.” Ronan fired back, his gaze hardening. Adam sighed.

“We’ll go to talk to Gansey tomorrow after work and see what he thinks.” Adam concluded. 

“Sounds good. I’m still picking you up though.” Ronan mumbled as he sank his head towards Adam’s neck. Adam shivered but not because he was just outside in the rain. 

“Then I gotta sleep.” Adam lifted Ronan’s chin from his neck and kissed him one final time before turning his back on him.

They bared goodnight to each other but little did they know that Adam, unknowingly walking away from Henrietta, had created a new doorway. And the creature isn’t letting Adam go so easy this time around.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What happened?” Ronan asked, his voice was careful but Adam could pick up on the shakiness that was hidden beneath it. On the outside, Ronan looked calm and collected but underneath the facade, there was panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! This chapter is a little longer than the first but I had to cut it in half since it was getting incredibly long. This chapter was really hard to write but I did a shit ton of research on tarot cards for this chapter, so all information I got was from Biddy Tarot!! Amazing site if you want to know more about Tarot Cards.  
> All mistakes belong to me, I apologize before hand if I missed anything!  
> Enjoy!

_When Adam awoke, he was in the middle of a grassy field. At first, he laid still, looking at the darkened sky above him for a moment before getting up. However, when he was able to crawl to his knees, he heard a giant crack ring out loudly in front of him. He lifted his head, his body felt heavy as if he was stuck in a tub of honey instead, and he let out a choking noise from the base of his throat._

_The world looked like it was on fire._

_The trees were blackened, burned, and swallowed by large flames. He couldn’t see the sky due to the heavy smoke._

_It was if he was suddenly surrounded by the fire. His knees and hands burned where they touched the dirt below him so he stood up as fast as he could. His feet however, were barefoot and he had no shirt on to shield himself from inhaling the smoke. Adam began to cough violently as he tore his eyesight from the disaster in front of him, only to find nothing around him but grass._

_Panic seized his chest._

_He knows he shouldn’t look back, he needs to get out of the field and possibly find a body of water. Instead, he looked back towards the forest fire and instantly regretted it. The flames had grown in less than five seconds from when Adam turned on it and suddenly the fire started to take shape. The smoke began to mix in with bright red, making the object look more and more like a face._

_If the warning bells in his head weren’t working before, they for sure were now and Adam ran._

_He was slow though, slower than normal. His limbs were working against him and every step caused a hot, sharp pain throughout his body. It wasn’t until he tried to take another step before his legs gave out on him and Adam crashed into the ground with a loud thump._

_He only had time to look back at the monster before he felt hot, searing pain, engulf him whole._

_He was no longer Adam Parrish, he was smoke and dust._

***

Working in the shop was miserable for Adam that day. He’d taken aspirin for his migraine more than he had customers and was sweating just from standing under the hood of a car. He didn’t realize how feverish he looked until his boss gave him a look of pity and tried to send him home. Adam only shook his head in response, trying to convince him that he was fine and can continue his shift.

By time Ronan came to pick him up, the clouds changed from light gray to an angry dark gray and his migraine hadn’t lightened up. Ronan gave Adam a look of disgust when he climbed in the car.

“You smell terrible, Parrish.” Ronan said, giving his boyfriend a look over.

“Nice to see you too.” Adam grumbled as he rested his head onto the back of the seat. Ronan started the car and left the parking lot before saying anything else.

“What’s up with you?”

“Migraine.” Adam stated miserably. 

“You need any medicine?” Ronan asked quietly. Adam shook his head.

“I’m probably going to get liver cancer with the amount of aspirin I took today. I’m hoping it’ll go away if I stop thinking about it.” Adam said as he closed his eyes.

“Alright. If it gets any worse, we’ll go home from Gansey’s.” Ronan declared and took Adam’s hand. 

Adam cracked his eyes open when Ronan kissed the back of his hand. His eyes felt heavy and irritated, as if he did in fact have a fever and didn’t sleep for an entire night. He wanted to go back to the Barnes and sleep for a week straight and forget about going to Gansey’s to ask questions. Adam closed his eyes again and felt Ronan begin to stroke his hand gently with his thumb. He felt relaxed sitting in the BMW with Ronan at his side and suddenly incredibly drowsy. 

Adam wasn’t sure if he was partly conscious or if he was dreaming but he thought he heard Ronan say his name. His migraine was pounding against his skull and the heat his body was producing made everything fuzzy and disorinating. His eyes felt like they weighed a hundred tons and refused to open so Adam could make sure Ronan hadn’t indeed tried to get his attention. He felt something touch his shoulder and soon his forehead, but whatever was said was muffled by the static in his ears. The coolness on his forehead disappeared and Adam wanted to make a noise in complaint but his throat was scratchy and dry and it hurt. He was also distantly aware that he could no longer feel the vibration of the car moving and the multiple voices that were yelling sounded too far away to comprehend. 

Adam suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Just as quickly however, Adam felt another pair of hands on him and old instincts kicked in. He didn’t know where he was or who was handling him, his brain automatically thinking that the one that was holding him so fiercely was his father. But he wasn’t as panicked at the thought as much as he imagined he would be. The calluses on the hands were rough but not as much as his father’s and the smell of soap and fresh cut grass wafed his nose. Adam knew that smell, smelt it nearly everyday. But his chest burned from the inability to breathe and he couldn’t get himself to take in that deep breathe. For a brief moment, Adam thought he would die. 

That was until he was startled out of whatever trance he was in when a freezing cascade fell on him.

Adam’s eyes flew open and air rushed into his deprived lungs, triggering a violent coughing fit. His hands began to shake as he tried to get his bearings but everything was blurry and disoriented. 

“Jesus Christ.” He heard someone whisper somewhere around him. 

“Adam? You with me?” The second voice was closer, right next to his hearing ear. 

Adam shook his head and decided to use his hands to feel what was around him. However, he didn’t get very far when he noticed another pair of blurry hands take his and brought it to his chest.

“Take your time, Adam.” 

_‘Ronan’_ Adam thought.

“Yeah you fucking asshole. It’s me, your fucking boyfriend you nearly gave a heart attack to.” Ronan said without any heat in his words. Adam nodded and began to take deep breaths.

When Adam’s eyesight cleared, he instantly knew he was sitting in Gansey’s bathtub. The shower head was turned on above him, spraying Adam with cold water. Adam laughed weakly, remembering that just hours ago he was in a similar position as he was in now.

However, he was not outside nor alone this time. Ronan was sitting behind him, Adam’s body in between Ronan’s legs and his boyfriend held on to Adam tightly.

“Jesus fuck.” Ronan whispered. 

“I’m sor―” 

“Don’t you fucking dare finish that sentence.” Ronan growled.

“Adam?” Adam lolled his head to the side to see Gansey in the doorway. “Can I get you anything? Food? Water?”

“Dry clothes would be great.” Adam croaked. He tried to clear his throat but it still felt dry. “Water too, please.” He added. Gansey nodded and reached inside the mini refrigerator he kept in the bathroom and handed a water bottle to Adam. Adam gave a weak thanks and gulped it down quickly. 

Once he finished what he could without feeling like he would vomit, Adam reached to turn the chilly water off and tried to shift out of Ronan’s way so they could get out now that he was aware. However, Ronan expected Adam’s intentions and instead of allowing Adam to leave, Ronan guided Adam to turn so they faced each other. Without a single second to waste, Ronan cupped Adam’s face and held gently, the pad of his thumbs carelessly wiping water droplets from his cheeks.

“What happened?” Ronan asked, his voice was careful but Adam could pick up on the shakiness that was hidden beneath it. On the outside, Ronan looked calm and collected but underneath the facade, there was panic.

“I don’t know,” Adam whispered, “everything felt heavy.” 

Ronan said nothing but his lips thinned into a straight line. His hard gaze searched Adam’s face as if it had all the answers. 

“We need to check your temperature.” Gansey said once he returned, interrupting Ronan from his thoughts. He removed his hands from Adam’s cheeks and moving them to the edge of the bathtub to help him stand. Adam followed in suit, standing slowly with numb legs. “Ronan and I will be out in the living room when you finish changing,” Gansey said quietly, “if you need anything, just call out.” 

Adam nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Ronan gave Adam a hard look and strided out of the bathroom/kitchen while Gansey gave Adam a small smile and left after the taller boy, closing the door behind him softly. 

Adam let out a breathe he didn’t know he was holding and collapsed on the hood of the toilet to try and get his bearings. First it was waking up in the middle of the night miles away from where he originally fell asleep. Now it was in the middle of the evening and something had happened to his body and he didn’t know what. _High fever?_ Adam thought, thinking it would make sense based on how shitty he felt when he woke up; with the sheets tangled around his legs and his hair sticking disgustingly to his sweaty forehead. Ronan had nearly forced Adam to stay at The Barns with him when he felt the shorter boy awake so suddenly, looking frightened and his skin hot to the touch. _Over-Exhaustion?_ Adam thought next. Had he been overworking himself with extra shifts at work? Staying up until one in the morning, only to be awaking at four in order to make it to his first job of the day probably wasn’t healthy.

Adam must have been taking too much time because he jumped when someone started pounding on the door. A muffled “hurry the fuck up, Parrish” sounded through the cracks.

“Fuck off, Lynch.” Adam grunted and winced at the pain that followed in his throat. He wasn’t sure if Ronan heard him or not but Adam stood up and began to change. 

***

“103.4,” Gansey said after taking the thermometer from Adam’s mouth. “You’re burning up.” 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Ronan grunted from somewhere behind Adam. Gansey didn’t even glance up at Ronan, his focus solely on Adam. 

“I have a theory as to why you may have entered a semiopaque state.” He said instead. Adam sighed as Gansey continued. “It is possible that you had a fever higher than 105, which is the highest temperature you can reach without medical assistance, by the way.” Adam rolled his eyes, instantly regretting it however when he felt the pressure of his migrain return. “Which can cause hallucinations and ー” 

“I know the effects of a high fever, Gansey.” Adam said and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Well, It’s possible you reached a fever higher than 106, Adam. Which is completely unsafe and we should get you to a ー” 

“No.” Adam said, interrupting Gansey again. 

“Adamー” Gansey tried but Ronan cut him off.

“Can’t you get sick after staying outside, in the rain, for a long period of time or some shit?” Ronan asked. His body tense and his eyes calculating Adam’s slouched figure. He stood behind his boyfriend, leaning against the wall with his shoulder.

Gansey shook his head. “That’s a myth. Nobody can directly get sick just from standing in the rain. You have to have been exposed to the symptoms beforehand.” Gansey said and redirected his attention back on Adam. “Do you have any recollection as to feeling sick before last night?”

“No. I’ve been more tired than usual I guess... but I’m always tired.” Adam said and slumped against the couch.

“He doesn’t remember getting up and walking out of Henrietta.” Ronan added since Adam wasn’t going to be to any help.

Gansey nodded and brought his thumb to his lip. “You mentioned where you found him, Ronan. I looked through my notes and the road you were on, Adam, is on a ley line.”

Adam breathed in sharpy and closed his eyes. His head hurt really bad now. 

“IーI think I need to see Maura and Calla.” Adam said when his suspicions were true.

It was quiet in the room for a moment. Adam could feel two pairs of eyes on him, causing goosebumps to appear on his arms from what Adam assumed, Ronan’s deadly stare. A shiver went through him almost violently, triggering his body to jerk before he lifted his legs to his chest and balled in on himself. 

“The Witches? What are they doing to do?” Ronan asked finally, sounding almost shocked. They hadn’t been to 300 Fox Way for any particular reason other than to report what had happened after the demon tried to destroy Henrietta. Adam had visited them a couple of times since then, but not over something serious. 

“I don’t know. It’s just. . . A feeling, I guess.” Adam said and opened his eyes. He turned around to look at Ronan. “I woke up on the ley line andー” Adam suddenly felt nauseous, the feeling of bile coming up his throat and the anxiety that usually followed right before hurling appeared, causing Adam to put the palm of his hand against his mouth and he stood up quickly, practically running to the bathroom and emptying his lunch in the toilet. He heard shouts from the other room after he finished gagging and spitting the acidy taste from his mouth and slumped against the tub, one leg against his chest and an arm sitting on top of his knee. He rested his forehead in the crook of his elbow and breathed in heavily. 

“We need to get him to the hospital, Ronan.” Adam heard Gansey say.

“Fuck no. You heard him, he wants to go see the damn Witches.” Ronan bit back.

“Do you really think he’s fit to give them a visit? Look, I can call Jane and tell her to meet us but ー”

“I’ll drive him to Fox Way. You can come if you want but I’m not taking him to the fucking hospital if he doesn’t want to.” 

Gansey was quiet after that. Adam couldn’t hear anything even if Gansey responded because his ears started ringing. 

_‘Something is very, very, wrong.’_ Adam said to himself, externally groaning as he shifted. His body started shaking, he noticed. It started at his hands and he pulled them to his chest and soon he felt his body break out into a sweat. It wasn’t until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he froze completely and saw a blurry outline of Gansey in front of him. 

“Ronan is getting the car ready. . . What hurts, Adam?” He asked softly but Adam didn’t respond. Gansey wasn’t even sure his friend was aware he was next to him until Adam began to blink several times and squinted. “Adam?” Gansey asked again but his friend wasn’t responding. It was only a few seconds later when Ronan walked in.

“Come on, shithead. I’m driving you to the Witches place.” Ronan said with a grunt when he reached Adam’s crumbled form. He stuck his hand out for Adam to use to help him stand but his boyfriend merely looked at it as if it was a sack of potatoes. 

“He’s not responding, Ronan.” Gansey said, standing up in order to give Ronan more room. Gansey placed his thumb against his lip nervously. 

“Parrish.” Ronan said while crouching down to Adam’s level. “Can you hear me?” 

Adam look at Ronan but his eyes were distant. 

And then after what seems like hours instead of seconds, Adam began to speak. 

It wasn’t English. Or Latin. But Ronan recognized the language instantly because he heard it in his nightmare a night ago. 

“Dick, you take his right.” Ronan ordered, his voice shaking slightly, and took Adam’s left arm gently, pulling it over his shoulders. Gansey nodded, thankful to have something to do with his hands and together they lifted Adam out Monmouth Manufacturing all a while Adam was mumbling words that nobody understood. 

“Don’t you dare puke in my car, Parrish.” Ronan said before Adam’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and completely lost conscious.

*** 

Adam did not puke in Ronan’s car. He did, however, awaken while Ronan sped through a red light.

“You’re going to kill us.” Adam groaned quietly. His stomach still felt queasy and his headache was hurting less than it did from whenever he blacked out. 

Ronan didn’t reply at first but he looked into his rearview mirror, his eyes narrowed as he inspected Adam. 

To say Ronan was worried was an understatement. He was afraid. He had so many nightmares of something happening to Adam. Every bad case scenario re-played through his mind at least 10 times and suddenly, without any warning, something terrible was happening. And Ronan didn’t know how to fix it. 

When Ronan saw Adam a couple days ago, one of his rare days of attending school, Adam’s eyes weren’t hallowed in, he wasn’t so pale, hell; the bags under his eyes never looked so pronounced as they did at this very moment. 

If Ronan knew what would happen to Adam that night the storm hit, he would have pushed a little more for Adam to stay home with him. Instead he let Adam go study at his damn apartment. 

Adam’s shaky sigh brought him back from his thoughts. Ronan watched Adam bring his hand to his view of vision before he spoke.

“After every fucking thing, I would think speeding would be the least of your concerns.” 

“Until you crash the car because you’re not looking at the road in front of you. Pay attention, Lynch.” Adam said dryly. 

If it was possible, Ronan’s gaze hardened even more and he made a low frustrated noise and looked away from Adam. 

It wasn’t long until Ronan reached 300 Fox Way with the bright orange Camaro close behind. He parked the BMW harshly, causing Adam to grunt in warning before Ronan exited and slammed the door close. Adam was already half-way into a sitting position before Ronan jerked the back seat door open and could give Adam a glare that would send men older than him running. 

“What?” Adam asked bitterly.

“He’s just scared, Adam.” Gansey said, appearing into Adam’s view. Ronan turned his head so his glare hit Gansey just as intensely but said nothing. 

It occurred to Adam that he’s seen Ronan like this once before but couldn’t fathom how his fear was for him. Which felt ridiculous since they were dating and all the magical shit had stopped after Cabswater gave Gansey life again.

 _‘But it hasn’t, not really.’_ Adam thought.

Suddenly, Blue slammed the front door open with more force than Adam thought necessary and she put her hands on her hips. 

“Calla just _scowled_ at me just now, saying you raven boys are taking too long.” 

“We’re coming.” Gansey said with a genuine smile, then turned to Adam. “Do you need any assistance?” He asked.

“No.” Was all Adam said, along with a half-felt glare and got out of the car. Gansey nodded and started for Blue while Ronan slammed the door shut, again, and walked closely behind him. 

Maura was waiting for Adam inside, shuffling her deck of cards anxiously before he walked in. 

“Oh, Adam…” She said sadly and reached out to give him a hug. Adam returned it, not fully understanding why she said it so remorseful. “Come on, Calla is waiting inside to help me give you a reading.” 

Adam nodded, noting the way Blue begin to bite her nails while whispering intensely to Gansey, who had his thumb rubbing against his bottom lip.

“Oh no, the snake cannot join us.” Calla said decidingly. 

“The fuck I can.” Ronan growled, crossing his arms against his chest.

“No. It’s bad enough having Adam and whatever the hell the other presence is. You will not be in here.” 

“Calla.” Maura said warningly.

Adam blinked in confusion. “What do you mean ‘other presence?’” He asked.

“Once the snake leaves, we’ll start.” Calla said, waving him off. Ronan uncrossed his arms and moved his hands into fists.

“It’s fine, Ronan.” Adam said quietly, Ronan’s eyes jumped to Adam’s when hearing his voice. Adam lifted his hands to rest on Ronan’s fists and gave him a trying smile. “I’ll tell you everything when we finish, okay?” 

Ronan’s sharp gaze was intense for another beat but he un-clenched his fists and took Adam’s hands with a firm grasp. His hands was hot under Adam’s and he could feel the power of The Greywaren thrumming through his body, matching with whatever magic Adam had in possession. 

“Everything.” Adam confirmed, as if Ronan didn’t believe him. Adam did not break eye contact with the taller boy in hopes he realizes Adam would not keep any secrets from him. Especially to this degree of seriousness.

Ronan’s light blue eyes were slightly glassy yet they didn’t waver away. Adam could see emotion build up behind those eyes that was deep and controlled. It held power, anxiety, fear and something more. Something Adam would have never imagine to see respiocated. 

“Be careful, Parrish. Or so help me I willー”

“We get it, Snake. You’ll die for that boy. We must start now so get out.” Calla interrupted. Ronan shot her a menacing look that could cut a cube of ice in half. Adam let go of Ronan’s grip and watched his boyfriend leave the room, shutting the door with force but not enough to slam it. 

“Adam?” Maura spoke. Adam took a deep breathe in, his name held a so many questions. _Are you ready? Do you want to do this? Will you be okay doing this alone with us? Will you be prepared in case things go badly?_

The truth was, Adam wasn’t prepared in the slightest. Didn’t know what to expect and it terrified him. However, he knew he had to face whatever what was happening to him. Everyone was worried and he was losing time out of his nights and days. It wasn’t good, let alone normal. 

“Let’s see what we can find.” Adam said, letting his breathe out as he turned and sat down at the table. 

Calla nodded in approval, the annoyance with Ronan earlier disappeared and her expression suddenly grew serious. Maura on the other hand, smiled sadly toward him and he still could not understand why. 

“We might have to scry after your reading.” Maura warned softly.

Adam nodded. “Okay.”

“Let’s get started then.” Calla said and began to shuffle her cards. Maura followed in suit.

The two physics rearranged their cards, touching each card in the process and allowing their energy to connect to them individually. Once they both finished their stack, they traded off and did the same to the other’s cards. Adam watched as Maura and Calla closed their eyes and began to chant a soft prayer for the reading to go well and be as accurate as possible, then they fused the decks together.

“You know what to do now, Adam.” Calla said while she handed him the prodigious deck. Adam nodded, and began his own shuffling, making sure to graze each card quickly before handing them back to the two women. They nodded at once and flipped the Knight of Swords out on the table. 

Adam studied the card for a moment, knowing that for him, it was reversed. But since he was getting a reading done for him, it was not for the physics in front of him. 

“This one is quite obvious,” Maura started. “You have a goal set for the future that you’re anxious to start. College, I’m assuming and you’ve been preparing for it for years. Though, sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own goal that you might forget the needs of others so be on the lookout for that as you continue forward.” Maura paused for a moment and scanned Adam’s face. “I’ve seen it in you, Adam. You have the need to see the world in a intellectual point of view. You have well-developed communication skills can easily form solid arguments and opinions on certain topics.” 

Calla flipped the next card, the Six of Wands reversed, it sat directly on top of the Knight of Swords. 

“You’re hesitant.” Calla said. “You have a clear goal in mind but you aren’t sure if you can achieve it.” 

“You also feel like you’re trying to achieve too much at the same time.” Maura added, eyeing him as if she awaited confirmation. Adam shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He worked three jobs in order to pay for his rent, for college, and to be in the best high school in the state. 

“It’s not just academically or financially... Is it?” Calla questioned, raising her eyebrow.

“Cabeswater?” Maura guessed, her voice was above a whisper but still soft.

Adam fought the urge to shrug again. He wasn’t sure but Persephone always said to speak what he’s thinking since it’s important for the readings.

“I’m… I’m not sure exactly. Cabeswater is gone but there is… there is something wrong with me?” He said his sentence as a question, not really understanding how to tell the story of events. The two physics glanced at one another before giving Adam the ‘okay’ to continue. “I’ve been waking up with time passing and not remembering what I was doing.” Adam began. He told them about waking up in the middle of the street and later finding out that the road was on the ley line. He continued on telling him the symptoms he had waking up that morning and the smell of burnt flesh and smoke in his nose, choking him until Ronan had to shake him to the present. He finished after speaking about what happened at Monmouth to now. Maura looked frightened and worried once he finished while Calla simply nodded in understanding.

“Let’s continue your reading.” Was all Calla said and flipped the next card across the Six of Wands. It was the Magician.

Adam felt the air in the room began to grow tense. He was no longer hot from his fever but instead, Adam felt himself grow cold. He knew what it meant for him. Afterall, he was a physic himself and was trained by one before she died. 

The Magician was and still is, Adam’s trademark when Cabswater was still alive and thriving. But Adam knows what each card means. He’s confused and is struggling to stay in touch with reality… which tells him that something is happening and the fact that he’s losing time throughout the day is proof of that.

The two physics in front of him didn’t need to explain anymore. He looked up from the card and watched as Maura and Calla give each other another look. Not a moment later, Maura looked back toward Adam and gave him a serious expression while she put down the next card above the three that were already on the table. Judgement.

“You want something to change.” Calla observed. “You want to be the judge of how this will end.”

Adam blew out a breathe. “But I don’t know what needs to change. That’s the thing.”

“Maybe you do, Adam.” Maura commented. “You came here for a reason.” 

“Yeah, but that’s because I wasn’t coherent enough to read myself.” Adam pointed out. “Plus, I’m not sure if I’m experience enough for something so… big.” He said, expressing exactly how big he felt everything was with his hands.

Calla raised an eyebrow. 

Adam’s could feel his patience run thin. “I don’t know how I know. It just feels like something big is about to happen.” 

Maura nodded. “That’s it. Whatever is about to happen you want to be the one to control how things go. Especially if it goes wrong.”

“You think things will go wrong?” Adam asked, skeptically. 

Maura shrugged. “I know just as much as you do.” 

Calla interrupted with a click of her tongue. “We’re going to continue.” Then Calla put the next card down below the three. 

Nine of Wands Reversed. 

“Tell us what you think of this card.” Calla said.

Adam looked down at the Nine of Wands before shifting his vision to the rest of the cards that were currently on the table.

“I’m paranoid or on-edge. I feel like I’m being watched and will be attacked at any moment.” Adam said truthfully. He hadn’t felt completely safe and secure since he awoken in the middle of the street early that morning. 

“You are locking yourself in a cage, Coca-cola boy.” Calla responded with. “You are hiding something… Or something is hiding some key information from you.” 

“I told you everything I know.” Adam grumbled as Maura placed the fifth card on the left of the main three.

The Tower. 

Maura spoke first. “The position that this card is in can describe your past and connect it to the present. The fear you felt before, is the same fear you will have. Things have been disornating for you… and I’m afraid that destruction and chaos is approaching. Rather quickly, too.”

Adam wiped the palm of his hands on is jeans nervously. “What is that suppose to mean, Maura?” 

“I don’tー” Maura began to speak but stopped when Calla put down the sixth card. It was flipped to the opposite side of the Tower.

The Moon. 

“I don’t understand.” Adam said suddenly. “The Moon is the card of illusion and deception but what is trying to block me from seeing whatever I’m missing?”

“We don’t have all the answers, Adam.” Maura said. Adam could feel his frustration bubble up to his throat.

“Before you get angry, remember that you’re the one that came to us.” Calla cut in. “You are scared and frustrated and something negative is blocking us from seeing the whole truth. We will continue your reading and place the rest of the cards down now in order to get the bigger picture. Sound good?” She snapped. Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breathe, counting backwards from twenty. Breathing back out, Adam nodded and opened his eyes. 

The seventh card was placed on the sidelines on the right.

Eight of Wands.

The eighth card, above the Eight of Wands.

Strength.

The ninth card went above Strength.

Nine of Swords Reversed.

And finally, the tenth card was placed above the Nine of Swords.

Ten of Swords Reversed.

The three psyches stopped breathing simultaneously. Adam knew what each card meant, what his reading was telling him. It didn’t necessarily mean it would be true but it was damn near it. Something was about to happen. Something incredibly gruesome and Adam was in the cross-fire. The Nine and Ten of Swords didn’t help the anxious feeling that sat unmoving in his gut, considering those cards were telling him he was in distressed. 

Calla was the first to speak. “Whatever is about to happen, will happen quickly.” She repeated. “You will be using whatever strength you have but you cannot act impulsively or irrationally or else things will go from bad to worse. The Nine of Swords suggests the more you worry about this, the more harmful you will become to yourself.” Her voice was no longer loud and snippy but filled with worry.

Adam felt the tips of his fingers grow numb. “C-Could the Ten of Swords be representing the shit with my, um... dad?” He asked quietly, refusing to look up to the two older women.

“It could be connected.” Maura whispered. “However, I think because the card is used in such a negative light, there will be some sort of inevitable end. It would make sense you are resisting that end after flipping the Judgement card.” She said slowly, as if she was still making sense of the strange reading. 

Adam felt his throat dry up and his heart rate spike. “I-I think I needー” 

“Adam?” Maura asked worriedly. 

“I can’t breathe.” Adam gasped out. He lifted his hands up to his throat and started clawing his chest. It was happening again, something was taking his breathe and Adam didn’t know how toー

Calla jumped up from the table in lighting speed toward the door and opened it with so much force, Adam was convince it broke off it’s hinds. He felt Maura take his arm and began to drag him out of the room that grew to near freezing temperatures. Goosebumps appeared across his arms and he felt the hallow pit of his stomach drop when he heard yelling pass him while Maura lead him out into the sunlight and to a tree. The tree in Blue’s backyard to be exact. 

“Breathe in and out, Adam.” Maura said calmly. “That’s it. In and out, slowly now.” 

Adam dropped to his hands and knees, distantly aware of the yelling occurring behind him and gripped the grass and the dirt beneath him as if it was a lifeline. 

“Maura.” Adam managed to croak out. 

“Calla is getting the scrying supplies out now but you need to get your breathing levitated or else you’ll end up hurting yourself in the process.” She said, grounding him with a hand between his shoulder blades. 

“Maura.” Adam said again, more forcefully. 

“What is it?” She stressed.

Suddenly, Gwenllian began to laugh from somewhere above them. “The Magician is being possessed again.” Gwenllian sang cheerfully. Adam and Maura looked up toward the tree and there she sat, with a grin showing her rotten teeth.

“Gwenllian! What are you doing up there?” Maura asked. 

“Enjoying the weather! The Magician would know how lovely thunderstorms could be. Especially when lighting strikes.” Gwenllian winked at Adam and began crackling again. 

Adam could feel his arms begin to shake and his legs grew numb all too quickly when Calla barged from the house in a furious rage. 

“Blue! Do not let the Snake come out here or so help me, I will chop his head of myself.” She threatened. 

“N-No, I need Ronan out here. He grounds me better when I scry.” Adam wheezed painfully. 

“Oh for the love ofー SNAKE! Get out here!” Calla bellowed and suddenly Ronan was in Adam’s sights. However, just as quickly, he was stopped by Calla who started explaining the situation to a very tense Ronan. Adam made eye contact with the taller boy, and didn’t break it until Maura moved in front of him. The whole event caused Gwenllian to start laughing louder and Adam wished she would just be quiet.

“Adam? Are you okay now?” Maura asked carefully. Adam breathed in another breathe before letting it out slowly. He nodded his head as he removed one hand from the ground and placed it to his chest. A dirt shaped handprint was left on his shirt when he felt a callus hand take his own and moving it to a pair of lips. Adam looked up, surprised for a moment before relaxing when seeing it was only Ronan.

“Hey, Lynch.” Adam teased slightly, his voice hoarse. 

“Jesus, Parrish. You’d given me enough heart attacks in one day, don’t you think?” Ronan said softly, his voice shaking a bit.

“I have to keep our relationship somewhat interesting.” Adam said with a small smile and Ronan tugged his boyfriend’s body towards him into an embrace. Adam rested his head on Ronan’s chest and breathed in his scent, wishing for this to end.

“What do you mean by that, Adam?” Ronan asked, slightly panicked. 

Adam didn’t realize he said the latter out loud. “Everything hurts.” 

Gwenllian was heard laughing above him again.

“Let’s start scrying, Adam. We need to figure this out. Now.” Maura said.

Ronan helped him sit up as Calla placed the scrying bowl in front of him and poured grape juice into it. Blue had appeared sometime after Ronan showed up and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, enhancing his psychic abilities. 

“We’ll be here for you, Adam. Don’t get lost or else I’ll never forgive you.” She said fiercely. 

Adam nodded, his eyes already on the scrying bowl. “Thank you.” He said to no one in particular. But he felt Ronan’s hand squeeze his slightly before going limp and Adam started focusing on the bowl in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. The cliffhangers have started!! Poor Adam. And poor Gansey!! He kept getting interrupted in the beginning there lol  
> Comments and Kudos is always appreciated!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this week! But it's quite informational.  
> Enjoy!

When Adam opened his eyes, he was in his old bedroom in the trailer park. He felt sudden dread creep up in his heart at the thought that his mind took him to the place he never wanted to return to. He used what senses he could in this moment before getting up from where he was at, taking note at what he was laying on (his old lumpy mattress), what he saw (the cracked ceiling), and carefully hearing from his good ear. Adam listened painstakingly attentive, having to live through years of learning to tiptoe every step in order to avoid his father. However, he couldn’t hear anything out of the ordinary. No staggering footsteps from his father or loud crashes from the beer bottles. No quiet pitter patter from his mother’s soft footsteps when she awoke in the mornings. 

Not being able to hear anything from the trailer gave him the courage to get up, swinging his legs over the twin sized bed and walk across the room. Adam opened his door quietly, prepared to close it if needed and get the hell out of there… but nothing awaited him in the hallway. And Adam still couldn’t hear anything. When deemed safe, Adam stepped out of his room. Avoiding the certain creaks in the floorbeds and latching on to the walls to help steady him in the darkened room. 

When Adam entered the living room, he froze.

Because he was definitely not alone anymore.

Even though it was pitch dark in the trailer home he knew where each object was, where each piece of furniture was located at, where both his mother and father would be sitting if they were home and watching the game. That’s how he could conclude that someone was sitting in his father's old, beat up leather chair. 

The figure was darker than the darkness in the hallway. It slouched as if they were asleep and looked to be solid. Adam couldn’t tell if it was breathing but at that moment, he felt the hair on his arms stand on end, and his hands started to shake with anxiety on what would happen if it woke up.

Unfortunately, luck was never on Adam’s side. 

Adam watched in complete stillness when the figure sat up straighter and chuckled deeply. “Adam, Adam, Adam…” It chanted slowly. It’s voice was calm but it laced with poison. “Just the man I wanted to see. I hope you’ve enjoyed the dreams I’ve delivered you.” The darkened figure stood up incredibly slow and raised its arm. Fingers manifested from black mass and with a snap, blinding lights swallowed the room and Adam whole. He squinted and tried to blink his eyes open because he didn’t want to lose sight of the figure. But it just made them water and hurt, forcing him to shut them tightly and wait for his eyes to adjust behind closed eyelids. 

“What dreams?” Adam asked as he struggled to open his eyes for the last time. 

The figure turned and Adam starred in frozen horror that it had no eyes, yet Adam could feel a violent shiver course through his body, knowing for certain it was staring at him dead in the eyes. Only a mouth was shown, smiling with sharp, jagged, and crooked teeth. It’s tongue hung out of it’s nonexist lips, licking the mass around it’s toothy grin as if Adam was merely prey about to be eaten. It’s hand had disappeared, blackened fog taking its place and it looked to be floating off the ground.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten them.” The creature said with elegant ease. 

“Afraid so.” Adam said, wincing at how small his voice came out. The creature tipped it’s head, it’s long malicious grin stayed in place.

“Is my appearance bothering you, Adam? I can change it if you’d like.” And suddenly it’s body started to take a different shape. It’s narrow shoulders widened, its arm’s shortened and long tanned legs appeared. 

Robert Parrish stood directly in front of Adam’s eyes and he didn’t know who or what he would rather look at now. 

“I understand that you and your father had quite an interesting relationship.” Robert’s mouth moved but it was not his voice. Because, Robert’s voice never sounded so even-tempered. 

Adam swallowed hard before answering. “I wouldn’t say ‘interesting’.”

Robert grinned. “How would you describe your relationship with him then?” 

Adam knew it was trying to scare him. He tried not to let it show, however. “Wrong.” 

“Ah,” Robert said and walked towards him. Adam flinched so rapidly that he tripped over his own two feet and landed on the floor. He tried to scramble away but black mass appeared from Robert’s fingertips and it slithered down towards him, wrapping around his arms and legs, holding Adam in place.

“Listen here, Adam Parrish.” The creatureーRobertー growled. Adam felt his heart beat against his rib-cage painfully. “I’m sure you remember me. Though you’ve never seen what I truly look like until now, I made sure to leave my mark. Specifically on your good friend, The Greywaren.” 

_Oh._

_No. Nonono…_

Robert chuckled evilly. “You’ve finally realized. You called me a few names. Many called me The Third Sleeper or more commonly as, The Demon.” It smirked.

“No… NoーHow? WeーGansey died and you died along with him. Howー” He was hyperventilating. The Demon shouldn’t be alive. It was in Adam. It tried to kill his friends. Hell, one of his friends did die, another almost died from his own hands, and Noah… Noah just disappeared. It was in control and Adam could do nothing. 

All of Adam’s life was being controlled, hurt, manipulated, and he hated it.

Robert’s grin stayed put but he nodded in understanding. “Ah, it was very tricky to find a place to hide in your mind. The brain is an incredibly complex organ you know.” He snickered. “But I stayed quiet. Learned your secrets, weaknesses and your fears, Adam. So I suggest you let me take over so your friends don’t suffer.” 

Adam was so over taken by fear that he didn’t notice the walls of his old home begin to disperse until the blackened fog tightened its hold on him. Adam’s eyes darted around the room in panic as he briefly looked away from the demon in front of him. The stained wallpaper rolled both upwards and downwards in small sheets; cracks took its place and started to chip away, floating into the abyss that use to be the ceiling. Adam could barely feel the pressure in the palm of his hand and hear the different voices of urgency that were trying to bring him back to the present. He felt so incredibly small.

“Do you understand me, boy?” Robert shouted and Adam flinched. And oh, how familiar that voice was to him. 

Adam breathed in a shaky breath. “You will not take over control of my body again.” He said with every ounce of courage he had. 

The demon that wore his father’s face rose his hand with an angry snarl. Adam snapped his eyes closed just as he was about to get hit. 

But instead, Adam awoke. Slowly, as if he was waking from a pleasant dream and didn’t just witness something so terrifying that shook him to his core. His eyes cracked open and instead of staring at the bowl of grape juice, he found himself staring at Ronan’s face of distress. 

“Parrish?” He asked, voice hoarse. Adam felt a hand land on his shoulder and Adam flinched. The warmth of the hand was instantly removed but a small voice spoke to him. 

“Adam? Are you here with us?” Maura. But she sounded muffled and far away.

Gwenllian started to laugh overhead. 

“My God.” Gansey said, he was much louder than Maura was. Adam tore his eyes away from Ronan and saw Gansey wrapping his arms around himself. Blue stood next to him, rubbing Gansey’s shoulders. Her brows were furrowed and her eyes looked at Adam with worry. 

Adam felt distant, as if everyone around him weren’t really there. However, he felt a slight squeeze in his hand so he looked down and found another holding it. He followed up from the pale hand, elevating passed the arm, and making eye contact with Ronan.

“That’s it, Adam. It’s alright. You’re okay.” Ronan soothed. It was so out of character from the Ronan he knows, that he almost wanted to scoff. 

But Adam didn’t feel okay. He felt empty. 

He was remembering. He remembered the demon’s warning for him. He remembered feeling trapped under its gaze and the blackened mist holding him down. He remembered it forming into his greatest nightmare, bringing back memories he didn’t want to re-live. He remembered the nightmares that it gave him in preparation for the possession.

 _‘It never left.’_ Adam thought, his body began to shake.

“He remembers.” Gwenllian said cheerily. 

“Shut up Gwenllian.” He heard Blue hiss.

“Ronan?” Adam whispered. His body was paralyzed with fear so he couldn’t back away from him. He didn’t know when the demon would possess his body again and he would never forgive himself if he ended up hurting his friends once more. Or worse. 

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to hurt you again.” Adam said weakly. “Y-You should back up, Ronan. I-I…” Adam choked on his words but all Ronan did was scoot closer to him. “W-What are you doing?” Adam asked, panicking. 

“I know you’re smarter than this you idiot. I’m not fucking leaving you.” Ronan said seriously, his jaw set.

“You don’t understand.” Adam said. “The demonーfuck, the demon is still in me.” He confessed desperately. 

Adam felt Ronan freeze beside him.

He felt a wave of dread fold in on him like a blanket. They talked about that day when the demon possessed him. He still had nightmares of that awful evening; Ronan’s smooth, pale neck under his harsh hands, watching the color drain from his flushed face as Adam choked the life from him. The dark bruises that he inflicted and his desperate screams to his friends, begging them to hit him, to stop him.

Blue was the first to speak after a few seconds of silence. “What the hell do you mean?” 

“The reading.” Calla spoke up suddenly. “The Moon card, Adam. The demon was holding information from you.” She said with a calculated look on her face. “When you scryed, what did you see?” 

Adam swallowed thickly. “The demon’s true form.” 

Gansey let out a strangled noise somewhere behind him. 

“It wants to take over again.” He continued. He suddenly felt so tired and his arms began to ache. “I told it it wasn’t allowed to. But MauraーI can’t, I don’t think that I. . .” His words weren’t coming out right. He realized he was still holding Ronan’s hand so he let go and ran it through his hair nervously.

“I thought it disappeared after I died?” Gansey asked, confused.

“That’s what I thought.” Blue added.

Adam shook his head. “He’s been hiding in my mind. He knows everything.” He whispered.

Everyone grew silent after that. Even Gwenllian stopped humming.

Then everyone started speaking and moving at once.

Gansey was the first, he broke away from Blue’s embrace and started to pace back and forth, his brows furrowed and his expression taut. “How do we fix this?” 

It was deaf to everyone’s ears, however. 

Blue’s face scrunched up in a mixture of shock and confusion. “How can a demon hide in someone’s mind?” She asked as Gansey began mumbling ideas. But Adam knew the answer to that question. The demon is one of the most powerful creatures. It took a sacrifice, Gansey’s life, for it be destroyed but something stood in the way from it to completely disappear. And it’s been sitting in his mind, growing and learning everything about him and his life. Readying itself to attack.

“What the fuck?” Ronan lifted his hand to his head and ran his fingers over the freshly cut fuzz. Adam noted the dark circles under his eyes from all the stress the situation was causing and Adam wanted to close Ronan’s eyes with the pad of his thumb, kiss him softly and force him to sleep. 

But Adam didn’t trust himself enough to move in fear for disrupting what control he still had left.

Adam looked towards to two older women and watched Maura move closer to Calla. He could hear her muffled whisper of Calla’s name in question. 

“I don’t know, dammit.” Calla replied, her voice on the edge of panic and frustration.

“Mom?” Blue’s voice rang out suddenly.

Maura turned toward her daughter and anxiously asked, “What?” 

Blue asked the million dollar question. “Was Gansey’s sacrifice all for nothing?” 

Adam looked at his two friends, his gut clenching. He was worried about this; Gansey’s sacrifice was all for nothing all because Adam was weak. Cabeswater wouldn’t have had to give itself up for their friend to live if Adam didn’t just give himself up. He was already ruined, in the process of being unmade, and it was happening all over again without another solution.

Gansey was pale when Adam made eye contact with him. 

“Not necessarily,” Maura started slowly, “it was definitely weakened. It’s getting stronger. However, we still have the upper hand.” 

Adam didn’t understand how they could have the upper hand in this situation. Yeah, they finally knew what was causing Adam problems but how will they be able to officially exorcise it?

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean?” Ronan asked harshly.

Maura sighed, “It means, we know that the demon is gaining information and readying itself to strike. It’s already started on that one night when the storm hit and again today. We still have time to save Adam.”

“Then how do we fucking get rid of it? For good, this time.” Ronan asked, protectiveness intertwined with his jarring tone.

Calla pursed her lips before forming into a sneer. “You expect us to have all the answers, Snake. We do not know everything.”

“With all due respect,” Gansey said, “I would rather stay alive this time around.”

“You are not going to die _again,_ Gansey.” Blue piqued. 

Adam nodded his head slowly in agreement. He would give himself up first before anyone could lay a hand on his friends. He would make a deal with the demon itself if it promised not to hurt anyone.

He felt Ronan shift next to him and a gentle hand curled around Adam’s arm. He looked back at the icy orbs as they glided over his arm in inspection. It wasn’t until Adam looked down at his own arm to realize why the sudden interest. 

Both arms had long, slender bruises; snaking around them like springs from a bed. Caging him, Adam realized. The demon was marking him as its’ own.

Gwenllian began to hum again, “It’s not you, Kingsley that we need to worry about.” She said, breaking her temporary silence.

Everyone looked up to where Gwenllian sat. She grinned, enjoying the attention that was suddenly on her. However, Ronan continued to stare at the blackish blue hues that littered across his arms. But Adam could tell he was listening intensely.

“The Magician is the one who will have to make the sacrifice.” She said. 

And Adam’s world spun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry this is late! I've had a crazy week and I just started college so updates might be coming out a little late for now on. I've been blown away by everyone's positive feedback! Thank you all so much! There will be about two more chapters in this fic, which is absolutely insane...
> 
> This chapter is a little darker and will contain more violence than past chapters.  
> Enjoy!

When Adam was little, he didn’t know what sacrifices meant. Not really. His mother always scowled at him after complaining that she was never home; _I have to sacrifice my time with you if you want to eat tonight._ She would always say. His developing brain couldn’t understand the concept of the word. It wasn’t until his father came home one night, saying he got a bonus and she didn’t have to work anymore that she began to make more time for him. So she quit and his father started buying booze and gambled away their money in an unlucky game of poker. Suddenly, his mother’s sacrifices were shushing him to his room so she could pay the price whenever he made too loud of a noise. Eventually he watched his mother give up, and when Robert hit Adam for the first time, his mother did nothing and Adam accepted it. He deserved it, didn’t he? It wasn’t until he was older when Adam realized that his father’s control on him was wrong. 

Adam’s long term sacrifice was killing himself with exhaustion in order to make his father happy. 

Now however, he felt as if time slipped from his own hands. All the fight he held on to in order to get out of that trailer home, all the hours spent diligently working and the all nighters he made to study to help his chances to get out of town... was for nothing. Because now, Adam really did have to make a deal with the Third Sleeper and the possibility that he would survive it was slim.

It angered him that all his sacrifices were for nothing. 

But this one...This one wouldn’t be.

Ronan sat straight up after Gwenllian dropped that unexpected bombshell. The gentle hands that were loosely around Adam’s arms disappeared and replaced by the warmth was cold. Though, Ronan was still right next to him, he could still feel this body heat as he spun around to face the half tree-light witch.

“What the _fuck_ are you saying?” Ronan snarled. His back against Adam’s shoulder, as if he was shielding him from potential danger.

“Whoopsie.” Gwenllian started to giggle uncontrollably. “The Magician’s final final final act.” She grinned. “Will he go poof,” She clenched her hands into fists before unclenching them quickly, “or will he fall and make his audience clean up the mess?” 

Maura spoke up somewhere behind Adam. “Gwenllian, are you sayingー” 

“Stupid stupid stupid humans.” She sang. 

Adam gripped Ronan’s shoulder with his hand, stabilizing him as he attempted to stand. Ronan never broke eye contact with Gwenllian but he moved his hand to cover Adam’s and squeezed.

Nobody was expecting what came out of Adam’s mouth next. His voice low and cautious.

“How do I go about making this sacrifice?”

It for sure got Ronan’s attention because his head whipped around and his eyes went wide with shock. 

“Adam!” Blue gasped.

“You can’t really be thinking about this.” Gansey said, panicked.

Adam gave Gansey a withering look. “And if I am?” 

Because truth was, Adam was tired. He was tired of all his efforts going to waste, tired of the empty void that took hold of his heart and tried to convince him that nothing would be good enough. He worked himself to the breaking point already. The thoughts he had about himself hadn’t changed since the demon possessed him the first time. He was already ruined and could be easily replaceable…

“No.” Ronan’s voice cut through Adam’s thoughts like fallen concrete. Adam looked down  
to where Ronan sat.

“Ronan–“ 

“No, Adam. What the fuck?” Ronan shrugged Adam’s hand off his shoulder roughly and stood up. “You don’t get to just fucking decide to sacrifice your God damn life and make us watch as if you don’t fucking matter.” Ronan stressed. “I will not see another person I love die again. Fuck you if you think this is a great fucking idea because it’s probably your worst yet.” Ronan’s glare pierced through Adam like a bullet. He wasn’t yelling, Adam noted, and it only made Adam’s heart hurt.

Before Adam could reply, Gwenllian fucking interrupted, 

“It’s the only way, Dreamer,” She hummed, “it’s either The Great Magician or you stupid humans will cease to exist.” 

“Will you shut the hell up?” Blue yelled, her voice cracking. 

“Let’s go inside,” Maura suggested softly. 

And so they did. They left Gwenllian outside, laughing hysterical in the tree, as they made their way inside the house. Adam’s eyes never left Ronan’s form. His shoulders hunched low, making himself look more young and vulnerable while his eyes narrowed defensively, holding a searing new flame. He was angry, not towards Adam himself but at the position they were in. 

When everybody was inside, they shuffled in place. Everyone was nervous and confused, not fully wanting to accept the severity of the situation but not knowing how they could change the outcome. Ronan seemed to reach his boiling point, groaning in frustration and stomped out of the house with angry grumbles. Maura spoke up again after the door closed with less force than Adam imagined Ronan wanted to close it with. 

“Let’s take an intervention,” She announced.

“And do what?” Blue exasperated, 

Maura’s facial expression softened, despite how upset Blue sounded. “We think of different ways to help Adam,” She made eye contact with him before speaking again, “we won’t let anything happen to you.” She reassured. 

Adam didn’t feel reassured. He felt like claws were digging against his chest, ripping him open and exposing him to the world unless he gave himself up. Something whispered in the back of his mind that it would stop hurting if he’d say yes. . . but he couldn’tー wouldn’t do that. He would no longer be in control and he refuses to become a caged animal again. He also didn’t know what that would mean to the rest of the world. Would the demon kill everyone? Would it only take over Henrietta? Branch out to each city and make everyone a slave? Adam didn’t know, he was imagining the worst and he was not willing to be the one to doom existence. 

Instead though, he nodded at Maura. His shoes suddenly became interesting to look at and he determined he would need to buy a new pair soon.

 _‘If I live long enough to do so.’_ Adam thought bitterly. 

“Adam…” Gansey rasped desperately. Adam could only imagine his expression and didn’t want to see the look of pity break out across his friend’s face. So Adam did what he did best. He blocked him out. Adam raised his hand up to stop Gansey in mid-sentence and announced he was leaving with Ronan and he’ll talk to everyone tomorrow at Henry’s party.

Adam walked out back into the chilled air alone. He saw the BMW sitting where Ronan parked it earlier and shuffled toward it, getting inside before he heard thunder crack in the sky above him.

Ronan looked livid. He sat in the driver's seat, both hands clenched to the top of the wheel as he breathed in deeply from his lungs. Adam didn’t speak to him right away, understanding that his boyfriend will talk once he’s got his temper in check. 

Ronan took another large breath in, resting his head between his hands that still grasped on the wheel. “This is absolute bullshit.” He said with such raw emotion in his voice that it made Adam want to reach over and embrace the taller boy. 

“Yeah,” Adam whispered.

“You’re not giving yourself, Adam.”

He didn’t respond after that. He turned his head away from the slouched figure next to him, his hand resting between Ronan’s shoulder blades and his head falling on his partly tattooed shoulder, and watched as the rain began to pour.

***

When Adam and Ronan entered The Barnes that rainy evening, he could tell that Opal was perplexed. She was confused as to why both of them looked so upset and tried to poke the fire with a stick. Ronan simply glared at the Dream Creature and announced she should go collect 18 frogs from the field _‘but do not fucking think about bringing them inside’_ before Adam intervened and said he’ll take her to bed. 

Opal was reluctant at first, giving Adam the side eye before she started climbing up the stairs—hitting her hooves exaggeratingly on the wooden steps, just to annoy Ronan. 

Ronan bared his teeth in the space Opal just stood, “Fucking brat.” He muttered.

Adam shook his head and filled the distance between them with his hand, lightly brushing Ronan’s hip and tugged his boyfriend’s black hoodie. He felt a little childish, as if asking a parent permission to go play outside in the rain, but Adam forced himself not to feel flustered. 

“I’ll meet you in our room. Try to cool down before I come in, Lynch.” Adam said faintly.

Ronan grabbed onto Adam’s hand and intertwined his fingers between his own. Adam watched with a steady gaze as Ronan lifted his other hand into view and cupping Adam’s cheek gently—before carelessly light brushing his fingers down Adam’s newly bruised arms.

“I’m being totally fucking calm, Parrish.” Ronan said, unsurprisingly calm. He leaned forward slightly— looking down at Adam with half-lidded eyes that were filled with worry and desire— and kissed Adam’s chapped lips. 

Adam felt his breathe catch ever so little, tasting a mixture of salt from the fries and greasy cheeseburgers they had for dinner. His hand that wasn’t holding Ronan’s moved by itself, cupping the back of Ronan’s neck in order to bring his boyfriend closer so their lips pressed against each other’s harder. Adam felt a low moan vibrate between his teeth from the other boy, causing a warm feeling to pool in his lower stomach. 

Adam whined when Ronan broke the kiss, tipping his chin up in desperate pecks and biting slightly on Ronan’s bottom lip—encouraging him to bring the pressure back to his buzzing lips. His eyes stayed close for a moment longer before lovingly gazing back into those electric eyes. Ronan’s facial features never looked so relaxed until this very moment. It was like The Barnes kept them safe from all the dangers of the outside world and from himself. 

“You better put Opal to bed like you promised.” Ronan said, his voice hoarse. He smirked as he gave Adam another soft peck and turned to walk upstairs, leaving Adam feeling drunk off of kisses and frustrated that Ronan decided to tease him instead of finish what he started.

It was worth it though when he saw the excited smile that stretched across Opal’s face when he walked into her room. She shoved a handful of rocks in Adam’s hands before pointing at each one individually.

“This one will make the bad dreams go away.” She claimed, nudging an ordinary grey pebble into the palm of his hand. Adam gave her a forced smile. He had no idea how she knew anything about his nightmares and the demon that sat in waiting.

“This one,” she pointed to a larger, darker rock, “will protect you from the bad thing.” 

Adam looked from the rocks to the Psychopomp, raising an eyebrow in question.

“How do you know about my nightmares and The Third Sleeper, Opal?” He asked.

She shook her head. Her blond curls glistened from the dream object Ronan took from his dreams that looked similarly to a lamp. “I felt it when it started to poison my home. I feel it hurting you. Your soul is tinted black.” She said simply. 

Adam stared at her, dumbfounded. When realizing he was at loss for words she looked back at the rocks. 

“This one will help with your thoughts,” She said, pointing at a white pebble, “did you know you get this far away look in your eyes when you think of something sad? When you talk about your old home, I see it and I saw it again when _Kerah_ picked you up that one night.” Opal paused, staring at the rocks for another second before reaching forward and hugging Adam’s waist. 

Adam knew that he could connect to Opal on an emotional and mental level. However, seeing Opal so open tonight, more than ever before, nearly brought tears to his eyes. He brought the hand that wasn’t full of rocks up to her hair and ruffled her curls a bit before hearing a soft, muffled noise come from his chest.

“What did you say, Opal?” Adam asked quietly.

Opal turned her head so her face wasn’t muffled by his shirt. “You have to kill it because I don’t want you to go.” She repeated, a little louder.

Adam blinked down at her for a split second before wrapping his arms around her small form.

“I’ll try my best.” He whispered hesitantly. He wished he could promise her. 

Adam lifted his head and shifted his eyes to the opened door. A figure stood there, causing Adam to tense up but instantly relaxing once he realized it was just Ronan, holding a giant blanket.

Ronan’s eyes looked a little sad but he recovered quickly once realizing Adam caught him.

“What is this? A hugging session with Adam _without_ me?” Ronan faked a scoffed, “move over short stack.” He walked over to the bed that they were sitting on and sat down dramatically. Opal giggled and scooted over to Adam’s side and Ronan laid his head down onto Adam’s lap.

“Are you going to tell me a story?” Opal asked, snuggling herself in Adam’s shoulder.

Ronan tilted his head up and made a funny face towards her. “Like what?” 

Opal pursed her lips together, thinking hard. 

“What about a story when I was still in your head? One where Adam was in—“

“We will _not_ be talking about my dreams.” Ronan interrupted, his face slowly becoming pink. 

Adam huffed a laugh, rubbing a finger over Ronan’s cheekbone.

“I want to hear about this.” 

“No you do not, Parrish.”

Opal raised her hand suddenly. “ _I_ will tell the story!” She yelled.

“You will not!” Ronan said, glaring at her. Opal stuck her tongue out at him.

“Oh, real mature.” Ronan fired back.

They bantered on for another good three minutes before Adam stood up, dragging Ronan along with him and off the bed in a loud thud. 

“Ow…” Ronan whined as Opal laughed loudly.

Adam smiled and nudged Ronan’s shoulder gently with his foot while facing the young girl. “It’s time for bed, Opal.” 

Opal gave out another small giggle before bouncing under the covers. She gave a large smile at Adam but grew serious when he started smoothing the blanket out.

“You’ll keep those rocks with you, right?” She asked.

Adam nodded, “Yeah, Opal, I will.” He could promise her that.

She seems satisfied with that answer and continued burrowing into the covers. Ronan stood up and brought his fist close enough to Opal so she could give him a fist bump. “Night, you wild beast.” 

“G’night, old man.” Opal mumbled, hitting her knuckle to Ronan’s. 

Adam and Ronan left Opal’s room and silently made their way to their own—however, Ronan stopped Adam as he was entering and waved him to follow. Adam gave the taller boy a puzzled expression but followed trustingly. 

Ronan lead him all the way downstairs and handed Adam his coat gingerly. 

“What are we doing, exactly?” Adam asked, raising his brow.

Ronan smirked mysteriously—the only indication that he heard Adam but said nothing. Instead, Ronan pulled on his own jacket, despite already wearing a hoodie, and opened the backyard door for Adam like the gentleman he is.

Adam stepped out into the frigid cold night air, his breaths coming out in white puffs of  
condensation. He quickly pulled his shoes over his feet and looked out in the darkened view in front of him. It was still raining consistently outside and the wind had picked up drastically. You could hear it whistle between the cracks of the windows when it was quiet inside. 

“We gotta make a run for it.” Ronan announced, his the corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement, his smile sharp. 

“To the barn?” 

Ronan stopped next to Adam and winked. “Yeah, last one there has to lay down in a mud pile.” And suddenly, Ronan started running down the steps and onto the the mushy field. 

Adam was momentarily frozen in placeーshocked; before letting out a long strand of curses and sprinting on after his crazy ass boyfriend who definitely wasn’t about to win. 

“Fuck you, Lynch.” Adam yelled out, the hood on his jacket falling back down to his neck, his hair and face instantly becoming drenched and his feet began to slip a bit from the mud. 

He was definitely going to have to wash his clothes tonight.

Adam heard a loud bark of laughter coming from Ronan, whose back was facing him, which was not acceptable. So Adam quickened his pace and ended up running side by side with Ronan.

“Don’t fucking tell me you got an A in gym too!” Ronan yelled over the loud squish of their feet and the roar of the rain. 

“I rode a bike my whole life,” Adam breathed in hard, “of course I got an A.” 

“Hot damn, Parrish.” Ronan laughed again and Adam decided it was time to outrun the Dreamer so he pushed himself a little harder and in return, got multiple sentences of curse words that died over his shoulder.

It wasn’t long before Adam started to force himself to slow down as he neared the barn. His breathes came out in harsh pants as he slowed to a walk, stopping a few feet away from the door. 

Adam smiled to himself and wiped his soaked hair away from his eyes as he turned to watch Ronan.

However, instead of watching Ronan and drinking in his victory, Ronan practically body slammed into Adam, unable to stop in time and slid right into Adam’s side. They both let out a yelp and fell face first into the flooded ground. 

Adam lifted his upper body by his forearms, his entire body was now covered in mud and drenched to the bone. “You couldn’t slow down in time or something?” Adam groaned.

“It’s your damn problem that your stopped right where I was fucking sprinting.” Ronan resorted. “Or maybe I did that on purpose.”

Adam stood up shakily, having to had sprinted for a solid minute without stretching— had made his legs sore. “Are you telling me you purposely ran into me just so I could join your defeated mud pile experience?” He asked, a tint of annoyance played in his voice. Adam leaned down and helped Ronan up, his feet slipping underneath him in the process.

Ronan held on tightly by Adam’s elbows to stop them both collapsing again. “Maybe.” 

Adam hummed in response while they made their way inside the barn.

It was freezing and damp inside. The musty air smelled like straw and animal droppings since this was where Ronan kept his own dream animals. Adam didn’t know exactly what Ronan wanted to show him, but he was intrigued all the same.

When Ronan made his way inside after Adam, he closed the giant doors and turned the lights on. 

But the lights weren’t the harsh LED lights that only illuminated four feet of lightーno, this was what Ronan was working on. The new lights that Ronan added were small, floating balls of hazy light, trickling down the middle aisle. They lit the room completely yet gave the area a dimmed and gentle glow. You could actually see things in here now instead of having to bring a flashlight with you. 

“Took me a couple of nights to do this,” Ronan said, smiling softly, “couldn’t hold all twenty five lights, now could I?” 

Adam snickered, “Couldn’t create a bucket to hold them all?” 

Ronan grabbed Adam across his shoulders and hooked him underneath his armpit, “Shut it,” He started leading Adam down the aisle, “where’s the fun in that?” Ronan asked playfully.

Adam shrugged, “You tell me.” 

Ronan stopped suddenly, curving Adam to the side so they stood face to face with a ladder. 

“Up you go,” Ronan said and released his grip on Adam. Adam gave him a skeptical look before stepping up with his muddy shoes and dry hands. Ronan followed right after him once he got high enough.

And when Adam did reach the top, he discovered a second story that was covered in a mess of mattresses and blankets, with more of those floating lights in the air. Adam stopped for a second on the ladder just to admire the view, surprised on how aesthetically cozy it all looked. 

He felt a finger poke his ankle, “Keep moving, Parrish. It’s warmer up there.” Ronan said with little to no annoyance in his voice. So Adam snapped out of his daze and continued upward. 

When he reached the top, Adam stood still and waited for Ronan to join him, “It’s nice up here.” Adam said dumbly and made his way toward the giant mattress that was located in the middle of the room and plopped himself onto it. 

Ronan shrugged and walked to the side of the room, pulling out a bowl of popcorn and a few other snacks.

“When did you decide to do this?” Adam asked, in slight awe. Ronan sat down set to Adam, and started getting comfortable. 

“A couple days ago,” Ronan grunted, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth and kicking his dirty shoes off, “I was working on the lights when I thought to make this little nook useful.”

Adam nodded, “It’s real nice,” Adam laid down next to him and took a couple of pieces of popcorn before realizing he was still covered in mud. 

Ronan must have read his mind because he pointed to the side of the bed Adam was laying on. “Extra clothes are behind there and there’s a bathroom around the corner.” 

“Thanks,” Adam said and kissed Ronan’s cheek. He got up before he could witness the slow forming blush that pinked Ronan’s skin. 

The new set of clothes that were waiting for him were definitely Ronan’s. The black hoodie he was given was bigger in the shoulders so the sleeves sunk below his fingertips, and the grey sweats were a little longer on him since Ronan was a few inches taller. When Adam exited the bathroom, after cleaning the remains of mud and dirt off his skin, he made his way back into the cramped deck. While he was in the bathroom, Ronan had changed and cleaned himself off and was already laying comfortably under the blankets.

“Took you long enough, Parrish. Get in here,” Ronan lifted the covers, inviting Adam to crawl in next to him.

Adam rolled his eyes as he curled up against Ronan’s body. “I took eight minutes.” 

“Eight minutes is too damn too long,” Ronan smirked, slinging his arm around Adam’s shoulders and kissing the top of his head. 

Adam reached over Ronan’s stomach and took a handful of popcorn, stuffing the buttery goodness inside his mouth, “Oh please,” Adam said while chewing, “You survived an entire school day without seeing me.”

Ronan shook his head and covered Adam’s mouth. “You’re fucking disgusting,” He stated with a smirk playing on his lips, “and that is completely different.” 

Adam swallowed the food in his mouth and licked the palm of Ronan’s hand. The look on his boyfriend’s face made Adam bite his lip, forcing himself not to laugh.

“Yeah yeah,” Ronan squeezed Adam’s body closer to his own, “you’re fucking hilarious, Parrish.”

“You love me anyways,” Adam said, resting his head on Ronan’s shoulder.

Ronan became quiet after that. Adam worried for a moment that he said something wrong but going through their exchange, he didn’t find anything out of the ordinary of what they usually say to one another. So when Adam looked up in the mindset to find out what was wrong, he was surprised to see Ronan covering his eyes with his hand.

“Ronan? Whaー” 

“No more stupid talk about you sacrificing yourself, Adam.” Ronan interrupted suddenly. He removed his hand from where his thumb and index finger pressed into his eyes, making eye contact with Adam to let him know how serious he was. The ruined look in Ronan’s eyes caught Adam off guard.

“Iー” 

“Fuck, noーlisten…” Ronan closed his eyes and took a deep breathe in, “Adam, you mean more to me than you’ll ever fucking realize. You get me. Fuck, probably better than I know myself.” Ronan chuckled drily. “We all fucking care about you. Andーand you’ve been through the fucking garbage, Parrish. And God _damn_ it,” Ronan’s voice cracked.

Adam sat up, ripping away from Ronan’s hold and switched positions. Adam settled, straddling on Ronan’s lap and cupped Ronan’s cheeks with his hands. 

“Hey, hey…” Adam whispered. Ronan wasn’t in tears, but the whites in his eyes were slowly redding. “IーI can’t promise anything, okay? I don’t know how to fix whatever is happening to me.” Adam said quickly, trying to rid the distress Ronan was currently feeling. “I won’t talk anymore aboutーabout being a sacrifice… But Ronan, I can’t promise what will happen because I don’t _know_ what will happen.” 

Ronan shook his head, “I know that,” He growled, “You just, God damn it, Adamーyou just deserve the fucking world and you’re so content on giving yourself up so damn quickly.” Ronan’s hands moved to grip Adam’s wrists. He was gentle in doing so and his thumb begun to lazily stroke his hand. “You are worth so much more than you fucking give yourself credit for.” 

Adam didn’t know how to respond to Ronan’s sudden outburst of emotion. He knew better than anyone about the abuse he endured and the hard work he had to accomplish to get to this point. He just felt exhausted, burnt out, like all his hard work had suddenly gone to waste because his father’s words were suddenly real and true. After years of refusing to give his father the courtesy of making Adam feel worthless and useless, it took one more fucking possession to make Adam feel ruined again. Trapped. And Adam swore to himself he wouldn’t get himself in a situation that made him feel like that once more. 

“I know, I know.” Adam repeated. This scared Ronan just as much as it scared him. 

Adam leaned forward so his chest was against Ronan’s He hugged him for what seemed like hours, with his hand carelessly thumming the fuzz on top of Ronan’s head and giving reassuring pecks behind his ear.

He couldn’t promise everything will be okay in the end. He couldn’t bring himself to lie to Ronan. 

Not to the boy who never lied to him.

***

_This nightmare was different from the others. Adam could feel himself having total control of his body, his head clear from confusing and frightening thoughts, and the setting he was surrounded in was calm. In fact, he was in the forest, in a clearing that he recognized as the one and only Cabeswater. The trees were still, speaking in hushed sentences of terrible Latin vocabulary; the sky was bright blue, bluer than he’s ever seen before and the grass was vibrant and alive. It was just how he remembered it before it gave its own life up for Gansey._

_But with every wish, comes with a price._

_A shiver ran through Adam’s body, the hair on his arms stood straight up with the sudden urgency to get away._

_“I thought you might enjoy a place you find comfort in while we spoke.” The all too familiar deep voice rang out like a bell in an abandoned church. Adam spun around, trying to locate where the demon was but could not see it._

_“You seem to forget that I exist everywhere yet nowhere at once, Adam.” It cooed._

_“What do you fucking want?” Adam demanded, his temper spiking._

_The demon tsked, “Now now, that’s not how you address the very entity that can destroy entire cities in one motion of it’s hand.”_

_Adam felt himself go pale._

_“That’s better. Silence is always welcomed.” The demon chuckled darkly. Adam heard a sharp, airy noise that burned his good ear. He turned, holding a hand to his ear and feeling a sticky, wet sensationーand suddenly the demon was mere inches from his face._

_Adam flinched._

_It looked worse than before, almost as if it was too hot and was in the process of melting._

_The demon’s mouth was oozing black liquid and it fell with a quiet splat to the grass below them. Adam could smell the acid and hear the shrieking sizzle as the grass insinigrated. If the demon touched Adam, it left bruises. If whatever chemical coming from it’s mouth touched any part of Adam’s body, well, he didn’t know what it would leave when he awoke._

_The demon did not speak to him, waiting for Adam to make the first move._

_“What do you want with me?” Adam asked quietly, feeling sick to his stomach._

_The demon’s mouth slid upwards into a smirk. “I know you like to be in control, Adam. I’ve looked into your memories, seen how you feel… I know you hate being restricted,” A drop of black liquid fellーthis time, closer to Adam’s left foot. “I am willing to bargain with you.”_

_Adam took a step back, unable to breathe in the toxins that came from it’s mouth any longer. “No.”_

_The demon only gave Adam a gruesome smile, “Wrong answer.” It spat and a small drop of black ooze landed on his arm._

_And it_ burned. 

_Adam hissed in pain, trying to scrub the remains of the strange chemical from his arm with his shirt, but it only burned through._

_“W-what the fuck d-did you fucking do to me?” Adam shouted, looking up at the creature with wide eyes._

_“Just a reminder of what I can do.” It replied coolly. The demon flicked it’s wispy arm above him and Adam watched with horror as it shaped itself into a hand._

_And suddenly, the black liquid started seeping into his skin. The size of the mysterious chemical must have been smaller than a penny, but the sensation it gave his arm felt like needles stabbing into his skin. For a moment, it was too much for Adam and he collapsed to the ground, his knees hitting the earth hard._

_Adam didn’t realize he screaming and grunting in extraordinary pain until his throat was taken a hold of by the demon itself._

_“I will say this one more time, Adam Parrish.” It seethed. Adam felt his cheeks dampen from the tears that he unwillingly unleashed._

_“Think long and hard about your next answer. Because depending on what it is, your friends will either live or die. I will be able to possess your body soon enough and when I do, my bargain will be nonexistent.” It forcefully pushed Adam away from it by his neck and Adam landed on his elbow vigorously._

_Adam coughed violently and breathed in the sour air around him, his hand going to his neck, and he felt the stinging needles rise from the middle of his arm to his shoulder._

_“Don’t disappoint me next time.” The demon growled in warning._

Adam woke up screaming.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They made eye contact with each other. Ronan cool and dangerous stare inspected the way Adam held his wrist in his other hand protectively, noticed how his tanned complexion paled dramatically from the short time they were apart, watching as sweat drip over his forehead and how Adam lacked any breathe from his chest. 
> 
> He watched as Ronan broke eye contact with him and landed firmly on Tad. That’s all it took for his eyes to harden with a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Pokes head from the doorway* Ah, yes...hello...I am not dead.
> 
> I am so sorry this has taken forever!! College has been kicking my ass. I'm taking English this Fall and I've been writing non-stop for six weeks. Or has it been seven? I no longer have a life, is basically my point. 
> 
> I was going to make this chapter longer but I decided I made you guys wait long enough. Therefore there is now an extra chapter added to this fic.  
> This chapter gets a little gory near the end. If that bothers you then message me on tumblr and I'll tell you where to stop reading at and where to start again. My tumblr user is bi-bliotaph :) Give me a follow if you want as well!  
> I hope you all enjoy!

Adam’s eyes flew open in blinding terrorㅡabruptly sitting up and instantly scrambled backwards until his back hit the wall of the barn with a loud thud. The sheets were tangled around his midsection and encompassed his legs tightly. Adam felt smothered and hot and could still feel the way the demon had restricted his throat; its cool stare and long, malicious grin, permanently ingrained into his mind. 

He quickly scanned what was around him, chest tightening and his breathes coming in and out in sharp, uneven, pants. He wasn’t getting enough air. He thought that the demon had to be choking him still. But within his panic, Adam named a few items he could see: a door to the bathroom, clothes, snacks, a bed, barn tools... he expected the demon to be standing right in front of him; holding him down as it waited for him to take his last breath, and while he suffered through the uncontrollable white hot pain as it’s liquefying coat melted his skin apart. Even though Adam felt like the ghost of the demon’s fist over his throat and the pain as sharp of knives pricing his arm, it wasn’t in his line of sight. 

Adam sat as still as a tombstone, paralyzed by overwhelming fear—until he saw a dark blur appear from the corner of his eye. He flinched back, his head hitting the wood behind him with a smack, stopping him from backing away even more. He hastily curled in on himself, protecting his body and repeatedly saying no over and over again in hopes that the demon would give him mercy. He didn’t hear the panicked voice that tried to call over him, saying his name and begging him to listen and calm down. _You’re safe._ It said. But Adam couldn’t _hear._ Not over the sound of his heart that painfully pounded against his ribcage and the roaring of blood in his ear. Not when his breathes were coming out too harsh and too thin and feeling the dull ache in his lungs that were beginning to hurt. 

Adam felt a shift on the bed and he snapped his head up, expecting to see the mangled form of the demon but instead made eye contact with stark blue eyes—wide with confusion and concern. “Adam? Please, it’s just me. It’s Ronan.” Ronan spoke slow enough for Adam to read his lips. Seeing Ronan sitting in front of him—hands outstretched towards him as if he had the intention to comfort but thought better of it. 

Adam watched Ronan’s tense form sag slightly when realizing Adam saw him. He started to speak again but Ronan’s lips were moving too fast for Adam to pick up on anything.

“I—I can’t hear,” Adam croaked, only feeling vibrations from his tender throat. He felt his overly pumping heart pick up again because _God I can’t fucking hear._

He looked at Ronan with fear, which Ronan matched but only because waking up to your boyfriend screaming was something he only heard in his nightmares. Not in real life.

Ronan spoke slower this time, “Can I touch you?” 

Adam nodded eagerly, meeting Ronan’s arms half way and slumped his deaf ear against his chest. The back of his head hurt and after a few seconds of leaning his head adjacent to where Ronan’s heart was, he felt a tremble travel from Ronan’s chest to himself. But Adam didn’t have the energy to pull back and see what he was saying. 

He clutched onto Ronan like a lifeline and in return, Adam felt those all too familiar hands carelessly thrumming through his hair soothingly and he felt more safe than he had all weekend since this had all started. 

He didn’t understand why now, of all times the demon decided to make its presence known. Why it was so desperate in wanting Adam to let go and give in. But he was sure for one thing—he was so incredibly tired of being afraid.

When his heart wasn’t going 120 miles per second, Adam begun to grow sleepy. It was then when he realized he could hear better and actually comprehend what Ronan was saying.

“You’re okay, Adam. You’re okay,” He was saying, his voice wobbling slightly. However, Adam could tell he was trying to cover up how frightened he was by giving Adam a peck on top of his temple and rocking them back and forth incredibly slowly.

“Ronan,” Adam whispered and the rocking halted. 

“Hey,” Ronan’s voice seemed to catch in his throat. “Can you hear me?” 

Adam slightly nodded into Ronan’s chest but he could tell Ronan felt the small shift because he squeezed him tighter.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours. Adam focused on feeling Ronan’s heart slow after viciously beating from the adrenaline that had now worn off. However, Ronan grip on Adam never wavered and he continued clutching onto him as if he’ll be ripped away from his grasp at any moment. 

Adam dreaded the decision he made in needing to explain what happened in his nightmare. The phantom pain still stung in his arm and his headache started to worsen with each passing minute from hitting it on the wall.

His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton when he opened it to speak, “It’s getting impatient with me.”

Adam felt a low, dangerous, growl come from the base of Ronan’s throat, “That little bitch has no fucking choice but to wait.” 

Adam wished that was true. Unfortunately, it wasn’t his decision—the demon has the floor and if it can’t hurt Adam now, then it will when he’s asleep. 

He can’t afford to be afraid of falling asleep.

“What—“ Ronan paused, hesitantly.

Adam hummed in question, his fingertips subconsciously outlining the dark familiar pattern of his tattoo, encouraging him to continue.

Ronan spoke quietly, “What happened… in your nightmare?” 

And just like that, whatever calm Adam felt was gone. His movements stopped abruptly, his breath sucked away from him and his heart skipped for a terrifyingly long beat. Suddenly images of what it did to him when he didn’t agree took over his vision. One drop of whatever acid chemical that dripped from its body was all it took to make his arm burn and forced him to the ground. God, what would it do next time he slept? Adam didn’t want to know. 

“ㅡshit,” Ronan’s hiss broke through his thoughts like a hurricane. He started shifting Adam around, hurriedly as if he was afraid Adam would disappear, “I shouldn’t have said anything,” He started to babble and took Adam’s cheeks in the palms of his rough hands. Adam noticed the dark bags under his eyesㅡwhat were usually so bright and blue, were dimmed to near darkness. “Fucking hell. Adam? Hey,” He voice hitched with anxiety, “shithead, stop fucking scaring me.”

Adam blinked slowly, fully crashing back to where he was. The Barns. Ronan. Lord help him.

“I’m sorry.” Adam whispered. Ronan responded with a shake of his head and leisurely strummed his cheekbones. Adam continued, “It didn’t appreciate it when I said no.” 

Ronan leaned forward until their foreheads rested against each other, and breathed in sharply. He was livid, Adam could tell—but he was hiding it for Adam’s sake.

Adam took a shakily breath, “It’s getting weaker, I think,” he leaned away from Ronan, taking the paler boy’s wrist loosely between his hands. Ronan paused the motions he was making with his thumbs but did not let go of his face—not that Adam was complaining. 

“It was—uh, melting? I guess that’s a way of putting it.” Adam said with a grimace. Ronan looked at him skeptically so Adam continued, “its true form—when I first saw it—was almost like it was floating from the ground in a misty kind of way. No legs but it could change forms and grow… legs or skin.” Adam was realizing how insane he sounded right about now. 

“Like shapeshifting?” Ronan asked, his thumbs stoking Adam’s skin once more. 

Adam nodded, “Exactly like shapeshifting. But tonight—some-something happened to it. It was dripping with some sort of acid. I’m-I’m not exactly sure _what_ it was but one drop landed on my arm…” Adam trailed, remembering the intense pain he felt and how he desperately dug his fingernails in his skin as a way to try and dull the pain. 

Adam shivered before shaking the memory away, “It felt like it was on fire.” He said flatly.

Ronan was silent for a beat before speaking, “So let me get this straight,” his hands left Adam’s cheeks and folded over his hands instead, “you’re telling me that the demon is getting weaker but it’s starting to shed fucking _acid_?” He asked with a bite to his words.

“Yes.” Adam responded,

Ronan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“What the fuck.”

Adam swallowed dry, darting his eyes around the room and over Ronan’s shoulder to see if anyone—or _anything_ was present. To say that he was paranoid was an understatement. He knew now that he was dreaming but his dreams are so vivid and clear that it tricks him into believing they could be possibly real. If Adam gives his consent, would that mean he’d be trapped in a never lasting nightmare? Would he be dead? Or would it be as if he was in a coma? 

“I–I think I have a plan.” Adam announced meekly. This earned Ronan’s attention because he perked up wearily. 

“I can’t tell you. Not with the possibility it could be hearing every word I say. I don’t think I can really think about it either since it… knows… things.” He said, his wording coming out awkwardly; he wasn’t comfortable enough to talk about his father and the abuse he endured. However, he knew that would only further anger Ronan so he limit his words. Ronan seemed to know exactly what he was referring to though, and his eyes narrowed.

“It better not include any sacrificial shit.” Ronan said with warning.

Adam shook his head, “No. If this plays out right nobody will die, except for… it.” 

Ronan nodded with an approving gaze. He trusts Adam and had told him several times that he’s a genesis. _You’re not just book smart, Parrish,_ Ronan had told him one day. The whole incident with Greenmantle impressed him, Adam guessed. 

“What time is it?” Adam asked, wanting to change the subject now that he told Ronan the important details. 

Ronan shrugged while watching Adam with half lidded eyes, “The hell am I supposed to know?” 

Adam leaned in and pecked the corner of his lips, “Is your phone up here?” He asked quietly. 

“Yeah. Why?” Ronan leaned away from Adam so he could fully look at his freckled face before his eyes widened and it dawned on him, “Don’t tell meー” 

“I have to leave before six if I’m going to make it to work on time.” He responded bluntly.

Ronan rolled his eyes so hard that Adam was afraid they would pop out of his head, “No fucking way. Parrish, you just had the worst nightmare I’ve ever seen you have. Hell, you had a mother fucking panic attack as soon as you woke up.” He stated with a grunt.

“I have to pay rent in a few weeks,” Adam sighed, “I need these hours today and besides… I don’t think I’m going to be able to fall back to sleep anytime soon.” He said nervously, looking down at his hands and examining them, almost afraid they wouldn’t be his. He heard Ronan mumble something irritably and suddenly Ronan’s hands overlapped Adams. Adam looked up, confused.

“I’ll drive you there. I don’t feel comfortable with you driving after panicking like that.” He said with a tone that gave Adam no room to argue with. Instead, Adam nodded and slowly unstuck himself from Ronan and climbed out of bed with stiff joints. 

***

Working in the factory quickly busied his mind into thinking of anything but the nightmare he had earlier that morning. One of the few reasons he enjoyed working there was because it took his mind off of everything, forcing him to focus at the task at hand since there was no slacking allowed while engaging in labor work.

Another reason was because Adam felt like time moved quicker. He was doing a lot more than he would when unloading trucks and fixing cars so instead of feeling like he worked from seven in the morning to three in the afternoon, it felt like only a couple hours flew by. So by time it neared the end of his shift, he was feeling good. No incidents happened while working or with the extra entity inside him, which counted as a good day in Adam’s book. 

He yelled over the noisy clatter of machinery, letting his boss know he was heading out and pushed the giant metal door outward and walked outside. The frigid air hit his sweating skin as soon as he opened the door and Adam treasured the feeling. He paused his walking, hearing the heavy door shut violently loud, and tipped his head back; pushing his hair from his face from where it stuck wetly to his skin and took a calming breath in. 

This was how he was suppose to feel―sore from a long days work, sweltering from running around near boiling hot machinery and from being in such close range with his co-workers. It was exactly what he needed to get away from everything. 

Of course, it wouldn’t last very long. Before he knew it, he hear the loud roar of the BMW pull into the parking lot. He lowered his head, watching Ronan run over the curb.

 _‘Could he be any more reckless?’_ Adam asked himself, his lips slightly twitching upward when Ronan’s window lowered and a razor sharp smile stretched across his face. 

The answer was yes, he definitely can be and Adam watched as Ronan carelessly pull up near the red restriction line, near where he stood, the car giving a violent jerk forward when he slammed on the brakes. 

“I hope you don’t plan taking me home with that kind of driving,” Adam said, walking closer to the open window and using his arm to lean against the roof.

“I drive like this all the damn time, Parrish.” He snarled humorously, his eyes trailing Adam’s form. “It’s not my problem you’re just now seeing it in a new perspective.”

Adam snorted, “I always knew your driving was shit. I just chose to ignore it.”

“Then ignore how shit I drive and get in you fucking loser,” Ronan said, swallowing and pushed the button that unlocked the car doors. 

Adam pushed off the car’s exterior, fulling grinning now, and walked around to the passenger side and climbed inside. After shutting the door, he leaned over and grabbed the back of Ronan’s neck, catching the leaner boy by surprise, and kissed him passionately. 

He felt Ronan melt into the kiss, gliding his lips in sync with Adam’s and breathed in deeply through his nose. Adam felt Ronan slightly shift his body so he was parallel to his own and felt a hand glide through his sweaty hair and back down to his cheek.

 

When they broke apart, both boys were breathing hard and Adam felt himself shiver that didn’t have to do with the chilled weather outside. In response, Ronan pressed his lips against Adam’s nose and gave him a slow peck.

“Someone is in a damn good mood,” Ronan hummed, leaning back and looked at Adam with a hint of skepticism.

Adam laughed and shifted back into his seat, “It was a good work day.” 

Ronan scrunched up his nose, “I’d say. You’re a fucking stink bomb.” 

Adam’s hum was drowned out by the sound of the BMW’s motor. He listened to Ronan pressing on the gas once… twice… a third time before Adam glanced over at him with a scowl. They made eye contact before a playful smirk broadened across Ronan’s face and he quickly shifted gears before speeding out of the parking lot and onto the open road. 

***

Ronan made himself at home in Adam’s little apartment above St. Agnes. He plopped himself on Adam’s thin mattress, kicking his black leather boots off and stretched out across it as if he was to take a nap. His arms folded snuggly under his head, supporting it better than Adam’s worn down pillow that felt more like a flat headboard that made his face itch when attempting to sleep, and closed his eyes.

“Your mattress sucks, Parrish.” Ronan declared after a few moments of silence. Adam paused his movements and furrowed his brows.

“You’ve slept on the floor before. Lay down there if you think my mattress sucks.” He replied bluntly. 

The eye closest to Adam opened, giving Adam a level headed glare before closing again. “No.” Was all Ronan said.

Adam shrugged, knowing Ronan couldn’t see the gesture and went to grab clothes from his chipped, wooden dresser. Henry said to come in something colorful but looking at what clothes were shoved in the stale drawers were not colorful nor decent enough to be seen in at a rich boys birthday party. However, even the clothes he left at The Barns wouldn’t be appropriate for his party anyways since his shirts were mostly white or red. 

Adam sighed, grabbing a simple white shirt that would compliment his biceps. If he couldn’t please Henry with his choice of colored clothing, he could at least satisfy Ronan.

“There should be food in the fridge if you want a snack before leaving for Henry’s.” Adam announced while making his way to the bathroom. 

“Nah, I plan to eat the all that fuckers food,” Ronan called back, “Chainsaw too.” He added with slight amusement in his voice. 

Adam chuckled, “I don’t doubt that Henry has a table full of shit for you and Chainsaw to eat.”

“Parrish, you wound me.” His voice covered with fabricated hurt, “Do you really think one little table is going to appease me and Chainsaw together?”

“Yeah,” Adam snorted, “It would be a different story if Opal was coming.” 

Adam heard Ronan groan, “That brat would just eat the damn table if you’d let her.” 

“Exactly,” Adam said, walking towards Ronan and giving him a quick kiss, “I’ll be fast.” 

Adam turned and watched from the corner of his eye as Ronan scrambled to sit up, failing to do so, and trying again with a encouraging grunt. 

“Mind if I join you?” He asked eagerly. 

Adam paused, pretending to think. “Hmm… I don’t know,” He said, drawing out the w, “we could be late to the party.” 

“Fuck we could just not show up at all.” 

Adam turned his head with a grin, “You can join me. But we have to show up at least for an hour.” 

Ronan’s eyes lit up as he stood and walked towards Adam. He looped his hands around his waist and down to cup his ass roughly, Adam’s hands resting against Ronan’s chest, staring up slightly with amusement dancing in his eyes. A smirk snaked among his expression, “Deal.”

***

They arrived an hour late. 

Which wasn’t too bad, Adam thought. They’d probably be there by time they cut the cake and for whatever else Henry had planned with the help from Gansey and Blue. Except he wished he prepared himself for the experience of seeing Henry’s home for the first time.

It was enormous compared to what Adam was use to. It looked even bigger than The Barns but smaller than what Mr. and Miss. Gansey’s mansion and garden looked put together. The old Victorian house was painted in a stone gray, the trimmings that wrapped around the house and casing on the windows were a chalky white. With wrap around porches, charcoal turrets and matching roof shingles. It was breathtakingly beautiful, with a long concrete driveway and a corresponding pathway to the porch, simple yet charming vibrant green bushes lined across the railings and a giant sea of emerald green surrounded the home. 

Adam gaped at the sight, eyes wide and hands twisting nervously in his lap—suddenly feeling more undressed than he already did. 

“Relax, Parrish. You’re making me nervous with how nervous you are with all your twitching.” Ronan said lightly. Chainsaw squawked from Adam’s lap in agreement. 

Adam shot him a unwavering glare, which just made Ronan smirk. It didn’t make him feel better with Ronan’s choice of clothing either because nobody expected Ronan to follow any sort of dress code. Or any rules for that matter. As usual, he wore his black leather boots, black jeans and a black hoodie since it was the middle of winter.

Henry’s driveway was filled with fancy, expensive cars—nobody was getting out of there until the cars in the front left. Even then, there was a long line. Adam guessed that most party goers were going to crash for the night, or until an opening appears. 

Ronan parked behind a car that was a little ways down the street and Adam made extra effort not to even think on how much it sold for. They both got out simultaneously, Chainsaw breaking free into flight just as he opened the door and disappearing overhead. Adam grabbed Henry’s present behind the passenger seat and closed the door with a grunt. Before crossing the street, Ronan grabbed Adam’s hand and intertwined their fingers together, earning a small smile from him as Ronan gently squeezed.

“One hour, yeah?” He asked, walking without checking both ways. Adam rolled his eyes, looking behind the taller boy to double check they weren’t about to be road kill. 

“Sure. If we aren’t blocked in,” Adam said with a hint of sarcasm, “how many people does Henry know?” He asked, in slight awe.

He felt Ronan shrug, “Probably over half the population that lives here.” 

Adam nodded, it wouldn’t surprise him at all since Henry attended Aglionby, his family was smothered in wealth, and from what he’s gathered, popular from dealing with magical artifacts. 

It also wasn’t a surprise to see Gansey standing by the entrance of the driveway, hands on his hips, foot taping angrily, and fuming with light white puffs of air from his nose. 

“Uh no. We’re in trouble.” Adam whispered lightheartedly. 

Ronan snorted and Adam watched as Ronan lifted his chin, fiercely making eye contact with his best friend and cocked his head to the side with a sneer painted on his lips.

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Dick?” Ronan snarked. 

Gansey crossed his arms over his chest, “You two are late.” He scowled.

“Your observation skills are really ameliorating.” Ronan retorted.

Gansey shook his head and sighed, “At least you made an appearance.” He muttered, “Come on, Henry is already wasted.” 

“You hear that Parrish? We came just in time.” Ronan declared, slipping his hand out of Adam’s and slinging his arm over his shoulders. 

Inside was a whole other story. As of now, the gorgeous garden outside has been spared of drunken men and the bright cherry red party cups that seemed to be placed everywhere. Silky brown mahogany bookcases filled one end of the wall, filled to the brim with books that must have costed hundreds of dollars each—along with a large antique black leather couch that was covered with both boys and girls alike, laughing drunkenly and loudly enough to hear over the music that blared from the living room—pricing Adam’s hearing ear and obtrusively vibrated through his rib cage. He cringed with discomfort, hoping his exploited ear would adjust quickly enough. 

Ronan must have felt how tense Adam became beside him because he felt Ronan’s arm tighten around his stiff shoulders, pulling him closer to his side as they subsided around groups of people, following Gansey into a kitchen that was bigger than Adam’s entire apartment.

It was slightly quieter in the room, despite that this was the area where all the booze and snacks were located in. Blue was sitting on a bar stool, talking to Henry about something important based on how expeditiously her mouth was moving. She paused her thought when Gansey walked over, placing a hand on her lower back, and smiled thoughtfully down at her. She turned with a scowl planted on her face and spotted Ronan and him standing to the side.

“Oh,” She droned, her brows furrowing, “The other raven boys are here, finally.” He watched as Blue raised her bare wrist and heard the click of her tongue, “An hour late.”

Adam raised an eyebrow, “I think every guy here attends Aglionby, Blue.” 

He felt Ronan snicker beside him.

She motioned them towards the counter, “Yeah, but you two are the only two that came late. I saved a few beers for The Giant since they were going quick.” She said, throwing a can to Ronan, who caught it with his free hand. 

“Thanks Maggot, I owe ya one.” Ronan jested, tipping the lukewarm beverage from his head. The weight from Adam’s shoulders disappeared and he momentarily felt off balanced. Attempting to shake the feeling away, Adam walked closer to where Blue sat, leaning his forearm against the island and faced Henry,

“Happy Birthday, man.” Adam said with a gentle smile. He placed the present he and Ronan brought on the counter and Henry sat up quickly, slightly tipping over like a newborn doe.

“Parr’sh! Oh you didn’t have to, you could have lit’erlly came without givin me jack but God, you’re the best you know that?” Henry jabbered on, with a slur to each word. Adam dismissed Henry’s words with a simple wave,

“It’s fine, Henry. It wouldn’t be right coming without anything.”

As Henry chattered on, he distantly heard Ronan ask, “Jesus, how much did he drink?” And Blue replying with, “About a pack.” Before a group of people came in and started hollering for Henry to do some challenge they just created. 

“Ss’orry, Adam, duty calls!” Henry winked and patted his shoulder. Adam nodded in acceptance and watched Henry out.

Blue groaned, “Please, go watch him. I’ve been on babysitting duty since he got ahold of the alcohol.” 

“Pshaw! I didn’t come to fucking babysit, Sargent.” Ronan curled his lip as if disgusted with the idea, “Cheng is a big boy, he can handle himself.” 

At the same moment, they all turned their heads towards the opening, hearing the large crowd in the living room chanting, “Chug! Chug! Chug!” 

Gansey sighed deeply and grabbed his own drink, “I’ll go make sure he doesn’t drown.” He announced, walking out of the kitchen.

Blue buried her hands in her face, “God, this got so out of hand,” She muffled, “when Henry said he wanted a small gathering, this is not what I thought he meant.”

Adam wanted to point out that Henry was not the kind of guy to have a small gathering of just four people. Before he started hanging out with them at school, he was surrounded by large crowds of boys who admired his look and style. His classmates would more than likely to bring the party to him if Henry said nothing about today’s date. In retrospect, that also wouldn’t have happened since Henry is the kind of guy who enjoys talking and including everybody in his day to day life.

He was also good at keeping secrets too though. Everything that they’ve done with the ley line and the conversations about magic has stayed within their little group. Adam would feel incredible amounts of affection for his friends, for everything they know and how much they still care for one another, even when it felt too much of a mystery some days. 

Ronan rolled his eyes and guzzled his first can of beer, “Stop being so fucking dramatic. This is nothing.” 

Blue moved part of her hand away from her eye and glared fircely at Ronan but didn’t say anything. Ronan shrugged and reached for a second can. 

“Want one, Parrish?” Ronan asked without turning. Adam heard the loud click of the seal breaking and the hiss that followed.

“Naw, I’m good.” Adam answered. Ronan said nothing as he watched Adam take a party cup anyways but walked towards the sink to fill it with water. 

“Alright,” Ronan suddenly announced, “it’s time to party! Maggot, Parrish, let’s go see if Gansey had to give Cheng mouth to mouth.”

Blue hauld her head from her hands and mumbled something that Adam couldn’t catch but it earned a mocking smile from Ronan. They both exited the kitchen area and out into the living room, where everyone else were gathered. Adam smiled softly, listening to the distant laugher and shouts of excitement when realizing that the Ronan Lynch was present. 

Many people were still afraid of Ronan but he was well known by everyone. Their lack of awareness more than likely amused Ronan if anything. As of right now, everyone was high off their asses. Ronan has a reputation of getting into fights, drinking alcohol as though it was water, curses like a sailor, and acted as if he could kill anyone with just a snap of his finger. They were all aware of the danger of associating themselves with him, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to impress him for one night. Tonight, they’re all part of the same crowd. 

Adam walked through the opening to the living room just as he lifted the edge of the cup to his lips, gulping down some of his newly poured water—wincing at the taste. It definitely wasn’t filtered and looking down at it he couldn’t help but speculate the clear liquid. It wasn’t until Tad Carruthers started waving his arm in front of Adam’s face, did he realize he lost himself for a moment. 

“I—What?” Adam queried, feeling dazed.

Tad gave Adam a lopsided smile, “I asked how you’re doing. I didn’t know parties were your scene.”

“O—oh. Well, no, they aren’t really.” Adam stammered. He felt the hair on his arms stand up and a jolt of static electricity shot through him. The sudden embrace of bodies that were being pushed around him, knocking into his shoulders and spilling some of his drink to the floor, felt too much. It seemed as if time itself broke for Tad because nobody paid any mind to him. He didn’t look annoyed as one would if they got bumped into because everybody managed to avoid him altogether. 

Instead, Tad gave him a questioning look, cocking his head to the side and wrinkling his nose, “Then whatcha doing here?” 

“It’s Henry’s birthday.” Adam answered; as if Tad’s question was ridiculous because that’s why everyone was here for. Wasn’t it?

“I thought you came to give yourself up as the sacrifice?” Tad replied calmly.

Adam felt himself stiffen; his heart suddenly in his throat and his eyesight wavered. The music from the party sounded far. So far that it was only a hum against his good ear. He looked at Tad, really looked at him; his shoulders were relaxed, his smile far too easy going for those words to spill from anyone’s mouth. His eyes held something like amusement yet looked cold and dead. 

Even though Adam heard him loud and clear, he still managed to gasp out, “Wh—What?” His own voice sounding too heavy in his one ear.

Tad nodded, “Your sacrifice. It’s today, isn’t it?” He asked, perplexed. Adam watched as Tad’s pupils narrow down on him. 

Adam’s cup of water fell from his hands. They didn’t feel like they belonged to him. They shook uncontrollably and his fingers wildly twitched, wanting to take hold of something and squeeze until balancing their strength out with the instability. He stared down at them, inspecting the calloused skin and the dirtied fingernails as if they would give a clue as to why they won’t stop trembling, but they looked normal. 

‘This isn’t real,’ Adam though absently. This interaction didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be real because he was at a party—he was walking into where the heart of entertainment was located at. 

Adam looked back up to Tad’s face with wide eyes, “I need to go.” He croaked.

He took a step to the left, attempting to stride around the shorter boy, wanting to get as far away as he could. Maybe he could ask Ronan if he wanted to leave a little earlier than what they had planned; to escape from the gnawing feeling that began to spread from his chest to his throat. However, Tad was not going to make it easy for Adam. As soon as he passed him, Tad turned with swift movements and grabbed his wrist with surprising force. Adam felt the small bones crush under the significant strength and cried out in pain. The grip only tightened as Tad forced his body to turn. Only, it wasn’t Tad that made eye contact with Adam. 

Inky orbs glowered down at him instead. Tad’s body rose with frightening grace. His skin began to stretch and thinned until the bloodied muscle beneath it started ripping apart and slowly plopped to the floor with an echoing squish. It was only when his flesh completely fell away, that revealed the pitch black poison of the demon’s form, dripping from the carcass of his classmate. 

Adam starred up horror, biting back a scream because he couldn’t fathom how this could be happening. His stomach rolled and the anxiety that sat in his chest grew too quickly and too suddenly until it reached the surface. With it nowhere to go, Adam felt like if he didn’t puke right at this moment, he would pass out from not being able to breathe.

With Tad’s body fallen at his feet, the demon leaned forward till mere itches from his nose. The burning smell of chemicals and raw flesh bombarded his nostrils, increasing the need to run, to puke, to scream, to do anything other than being surrounded by the long tentacles of the demon’s fingers.

Adam swallowed dry. The pain in his wrist intensified as it disappeared within oozing ink, scolding the sensitive tissue. He wanted to rip it away from the demon’s grasp, to do anything but stand there in shock—but his legs were planted to the ground and he couldn’t escape. 

The demon started to speak—licking its nonexist lips and carelessly stroking it’s pointed teeth with its tongue.

“Adam Parrish,” It taunted, “your time is up.” 

It surged forward and this time, Adam did scream. He screamed a terrible, headache inducing screech, as he felt himself suffocate as the demon entered his ears, his eyes, his mouth and nose. He screamed until the grip on his wrist became unbearable and he forced his eyes open. 

Standing in front of him was Tad Fucking Carruthers. His face pale, his hazel eyes—that were unmistakingly alive, were wide and full of nervousness and discomfort. He clutched Adam’s wrist as if it was a lifeline. 

“Dude,” Tad whispered, “What the hell?”

He let go of Adam’s wrist, causing Adam stumbled back away from him quickly. His chest felt heavy and constricted under his stare.

“Adam?” Tad questioned hesitantly, “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?” 

“He _looks_ like a ghost.” Adam heard someone mumble somewhere on his right. He narrowed his eyes towards the voice and to his embarrassment, found that he was surrounded by a crowd of teenagers. 

Adam could not breathe. 

Suddenly however, a low, dangerous growl was heard amongst mob of students and Ronan appeared, pushing people to the side with a shout, with Gasney in tow. 

They made eye contact with each other. Ronan cool and dangerous stare inspected the way Adam held his wrist in his other hand protectively, noticed how his tanned complexion paled dramatically from the short time they were apart, watching as sweat drip over his forehead and how Adam lacked any breathe from his chest. 

He watched as Ronan broke eye contact with him and landed firmly on Tad. That’s all it took for his eyes to harden with a promise. 

Gansey barely had time to shout a warning before Ronan took Tad’s shirt collar and slammed him onto the wall—the ridgid cords in his neck were made prominent as he bared his teeth with a snarl. 

The gathering of students disbursed immediately, not wanting to get involved with a fight that concerned Ronan Lynch. It was chaos. With people running left and right, anywhere there was an exit, they fled. All at once, it became too much for Adam and he bolted towards the nearest door, opening and slamming it shut without turning the light on. He heard Ronan yelling at Tad on the other side as he fell to his knees, unable to breathe. 

He managed to zero in on his unsteady breaths, not really feeling like any air was getting into his lungs, and listened to the shouts that carried in through the cracks of the door that were unmistakably his friends. 

“What the fuck did you fucking do to Adam, you piece of fucking shit!” Ronan shouted. 

Adam felt like he should get back in there and stop Ronan from doing anything drastic. However, he vaguely heard Tad attempt to stutter something out before he heard a loud thud followed by a sharp crack.

“Ronan! Put Tad down right now!” Gansey yelled, sounding desperate. 

“I didn’t do anything! I swear! He just started acting fucking weird!” Tad wetly cried out. 

“Am I supposed to fucking believe you? You son of a bitch,” 

“Ronan!” Blue and Gansey hollarded, and just like that, the fight was put to an end faster than it began. It became quiet. The only sound that could be heard over the roaring sound of blood in his ear was his trembling gasps as he attempted to breathe normally again. He curled his hurt wrist against his chest, his other hand gripped the soft, frilly mat that was placed over the cool tile, trying to ground himself. 

He was so busy trying to get himself under control that he didn’t hear the knock on the door or the faint, “Adam?” that followed. 

He turned when he felt the soft weight of someone's hand between his shoulder blades. Blue was kneeling down from where he collapsed, holding a steady gaze with glassy eyes. 

“Talk to me,” She gently urged. 

Adam didn’t feel like talking. It would mean this was real, the hallucination he’d just experience was not just a hallucination. The deep blue and black bruises that eloped his wrist proved so. It was a warning and a sign the demon is strong and ready to fight back. His original theory that the demon couldn’t hurt him when he was awake suddenly drowned in the drain.

“Ronan—did he…” 

“Gansey managed to get him off of Tad,” She said softly, “a broken nose is all he walked out with.” Blue finished, giving him a sad smile. Adam let out a strangled groan, dipping his chin to his chest. 

“Hey, hey, hey, that's better than Lynch killing him without knowing what the hell even happened.” She stressed. Adam simply nodded, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath in. 

They sat in silence for a bit. Blue’s hand carelessly rubbing his back to let him know she was still there. It was more grounding than the mat he was still gripping if he was going to be honest. When the feeling in his fingers and toes stopping tingling so much, he let go of the grayish blue mat and stretched his hand, feeling the blood rush back towards it.

“I’m okay.” He finally whispered. 

He heard Blue snort, “You’re definitely not okay, Adam. What was that?”

Adam has been getting better in realizing when he needed help and accepting that fact. A year ago, he wouldn’t have even let Blue into the same room as him if these events started occurring. Now however, he was too tired to put his guards up. Tired of pushing his friends away whenever his pride told him to manage it alone.

He was just too tired.

“The demon manipulated what I could see. It’s done waiting, Blue. It’s going to try and get what it wants whether or not I give it my consent.” He said, slowly standing up with the help of Blue. 

“What can we do?” She asked once Adam faced her. 

“I need to scry.” 

Blue nodded, “I’m sure there are something you can use in this big fancy house.” Earning a small smile from Adam. 

Just then, Ronan appeared at the door. He looked wrecked, with his cheeks flushed by anger, and bloodshot eyes as if he’d cried, and a bloodied hand from hitting Tad in the nose. His face however, was expressionless and Adam could tell he was trying to hide his concern for him since in the past, Adam had always hated the look of pity. 

Blue looked between the two, slowly letting Adam go and muttering something to Ronan as she walked past him. Ronan didn’t acknowledge whatever she mumbled but he moved towards Adam, shutting the door behind them, and enveloping him in a hug that felt far too gentle for anybody to give, let alone Ronan himself. Adam accepted it just as quickly though. Tugging Ronan closer to him, gripping bundles of fabric from his shirt desperately, in hopes that he could give him salvation. 

“God, Adam,” Ronan’s voice cracked, “I heard a scream a-and, fuck.” Adam felt the arms around him slightly increase in weight. “I knew it was you. I could never forget your scream.” He shuttered.

“It was the demon,” Adam whispered, “Tad was there but the demon made me see differently. He didn’t actually hurt me.” He tried to reassure.

“What did it say to you?” Ronan asked.

Adam closed his eyes and sighed heavily, “It’s time. It’s not waiting around for me anymore.”

Ronan only tightened his hold, “You have a plan?” He asked quietly. He already knew the answer but Adam knew he wanted the reassurance. 

“Yeah,” Adam leaned away from Ronan, so he could make eye contact with him, “do you know if Henry has a iron fire poker?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished a giant essay for my English class and to celebrate I finished chapter six! I also added a new tag. Umm... Let me know what you think. 
> 
> I am apologizing in advance *nervous laughter* ... Sorry!

The partygoers were long gone by time Adam and Ronan stepped out of the enclosed room. Ronan dragged him towards the fireplace, refusing to let go of his hand and grabbed an iron fire poker before they made their way back into the kitchen. Blue and Gansey were sitting together, talking softly. A smooth, round bowl sat off to the side along with a bottle of grape juice. They quieted down their voices when noticing the two boys walking in.

“We put Henry to bed. He’s completely out.” Blue said, eyeing the sharp object in Ronan’s hand. “What is that for?” 

“In case things go to shit,” Ronan responded.

“I also need some spray paint.” Adam chimed in.

“I don’t… I don’t know if Henry has any here.” Gansey said in confusion. “Why on earth do you need spray paint?”

Adam shrugged, “It’s all part of my plan.”

Ronan paused, thinking. “I could dream you some spray paint. What color do you want, Parrish?” 

“It doesn’t really matter.”

A smirk played across Ronan’s lips and Adam regretted not saying a color as simple as black.

“I’ll be back,” Ronan said and slipped his hand out of Adam’s, handing him the fire poker and left to sleep on the living room couch. Adam turned to watch him go, then looked back to his other two friends before walking towards the two items, placing the sharp object against the counter and uncapping the grape juice, pouring it into the steel bowl. 

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Blue asked, her brow raising skeptically. 

“Hopefully. It probably has an idea of what I’m doing by now so if my hands start shaking, someone needs to bind me.” He said it nonchalantly but hoped it wouldn’t get to that point. He was already suspicious as to why it hasn’t begun to stop his plans but he shook the feeling away. Instead, Adam focused on what he could see from the corner of his eye – Blue and Gansey nodded their heads in understanding. 

Adam was terrified that this wouldn’t work the way he wanted it to. His theory on how this all ended was blurred between success or complete and utter disaster. It was known now that the demon was powerful enough to take control if it wanted to… but for some reason, it was waiting. Waiting for Adam to give the ok, which puzzled him. It knew he won’t so why wait?

“I’m going outside to get set up,” Adam announced, capping the juice and placing it back on the counter. 

Blue sat up straighter and hopped down from the chair she was sitting in. “I’ll help.” Her tone gave him no room to argue with but Adam looked at her with a raised brow. He didn’t need help in finding a safe and remote place to scry but he shrugged instead of saying anything and made his way out the back door of Henry’s home, with Blue in tow.

“I’ll stay here and wait for Ronan to wake,” Gansey said and Adam gave his friend a small smile, fisting his hand and offering him a fist bump. After the quick exchange, Adam and Blue walked out into the chilly weather.

As soon as he walked out and into the open air, he automatically noticed the difference in temperatures. While it was cold when he and Ronan arrived, it was near freezing now. Adam regretted leaving his coat behind in the house, he felt too hot when he was panicking in the bathroom with Ronan but now his fingers were already numbing over. 

Chainsaw squawked loudly overhead – following their path by flying around them in a circle in the sky. Adam lead Blue down the steps and pass the large pool that was covered up, walked past the line between bricked concrete and muddy grass. His shoes and socks were instantly soaked and after taking another couple of steps, his toes soon lost feeling as well. Chainsaw started screeching the same _kerah_ noise, repeatedly – as if she was warning him of something. 

Blue said nothing as they walked. Adam was beginning to wonder if she would ever say what she wanted to disclose. She had something on her mind since she voluntarily joined his search. He didn’t push though, not now since he was in the middle of concentrating on where the ley lines overlapped at. It only took a couple more minutes before Adam abruptly came to a stop. He stared down at the patch of grass he was standing on, eyeing it as though it would come to life and swallow him whole. It felt right.

“Here.” Adam's voice was hardly audible and if Blue hadn’t said anything, he would have thought she couldn’t hear.

“Tell me the truth.” Was what she said. 

Adam turned his head to look at her and realized they were farther away from the mansion than he expected, “I’m going to exorcize it.” 

Blue held his stare, considering the words he just muttered. “You know that that’s dangerous.” She said cautiously. 

Adam nodded and looked away, “Yeah. The spray paint is for a pentagram. I’m gonna exorcize it out of my body while I’m scrying and trap it with me inside. As long as you, Ronan or Gansey aren’t inside the circle then you guys won’t be in harm’s way.” He explained, his Henretta accent shook a bit in anticipation and nerves. Above, Chainsaw continued to yell.

“You’re an idiot, Adam,” Blue whispered. Her voice was soft when she said those words – as if she was afraid if she said them any louder then her voice would crack because she knows… She knows that the chances of this surviving this were close to none. 

“This isn’t the worst thing I’ve come up with,” Adam said dully.

Blue was quiet for a minute. She stood with her shoulder touching his own and she looped her arm under his and held him in place. Adam clutched the bowl with both his hands, the juice inside was still as they stood on the ley line, waiting to be peered into. 

“You’re going to be weak when it leaves your body. You might not have time –” Her voice fell away, not wanting to continue. This was Blue though and she never failed to voice her opinions or concerns. However, this time she allowed her voice to waver, “You might not have time to kill it before it tries to kill you.”

Adam nodded, “I know.” 

“So you better not let it happen,” She snapped, looking up at him with a fierce glare that could only be described as determination. It crumpled away though when Adam offered her a soft smile. Her chin began to wobble. “Plus,” She tried to say, taking a deep breath in, “You have exams in two weeks. You can’t miss those or else I’ll really ring your neck.”

Adam chuckled, throwing his head back and watching the eerie storm clouds move against the strong winds that began to pick up. The overcast sky was covered like a blanket, only breaking apart to form lighter, bumpier, and angry looking clusters. Viewing the horribly darkened sky that reached even over the horizon, gave Adam a sense of the beginning of a post-apocalyptic event and that alone made him shiver. Blue gave his arm a delicate squeeze. 

Gansey and Ronan appeared a little later. After Blue’s tears had fallen and dried away, clinging onto his arm for what felt like the last time. Eventually, she let go and motioned Adam to look behind him as the two boys approached. 

Ronan didn’t exactly allow Adam the chance to free one of his hands when he threw his dream creation at him. He managed to balance the filled bowl with one hand and quickly caught the cylinder can with the other. The color on the outside of the can matched the ominous clouds in the sky but Adam knew better to think it was the same color inside. 

“Thank, Ro,” Adam said, shaking it as he handed the bowl to Blue. She took a step back, giving Adam some room and watched as bright and sparkly pink stuttered out. He paused the half shape he started to draw and looked down at the color choice. He did not laugh, nor did he speak. He knew Ronan was waiting for him to make a snarky remark but Adam simply stared down and felt a sharp tug in his chest.

Ronan didn’t know – wasn’t aware that this might possibly be the last time he was going to make Adam something that came from his dreams. 

Adam knew though. He knew and it was unfair because he wanted more of Ronan’s silly and ridiculous shit that he brought back. He wanted to continue those piss poor arguments they had throughout the day and make breakfast with him only to make a giant mess and having to clean the waffle batter from their faces, laughing until they couldn’t breathe… He wanted to tease him whenever he blushed so he could pull him closer and worship him. He wanted to go to college and be excited to visit The Barns for Thanksgiving and Christmas break even though the separation in between would hurt him so much.

It wasn’t fair.

Adam didn’t say any of this out loud so he continued painting the pinky pentagram onto the damp grass. He felt Ronan’s eyes burn against the side of his skull and Adam knew Ronan wanted him to make eye contact with him. Daring him to say something shitty because that’s what he would have done. Adam was almost afraid that not saying anything at all may give Ronan the message that something wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t that Adam had lied to Ronan. He wasn’t planning to give up his life nor did he want to. If he looked at the facts along with the magic behind the situation and determined that the chance he’d come out perfectly okay was... slim.

After he finished the last line for the pentagram, he stood up and cracked his back. He made it large enough so he could sit in one of the open spaces that made up the star. He looked up finally, after purposely ignoring his friend’s stares. Ronan was inspecting the shape he’d just made with a blank expression. It looked interesting on him. The harsh lines that pinched between his brows and around his eyes were smoothed over as if he was currently asleep and his lips lax from lack of use. Gansey, on the other hand, was looking at Adam with a calculating expression. He was also the first to break the silence.

“You’re going to trap it inside with you.” He stated. This caught Ronan’s attention and he snapped his head up.

Adam nodded, walking towards Blue and retrieving the bowl, “Yeah.”

“The fuck, Parrish?” Ronan whispered harshly. His tone indicated that he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

He looked at Ronan then. Really looked at him because this could be the last time he did so. The last time he would be able to drink in Ronan’s built form, his sharp chin, his roman nose, his high cheekbones that were flushed with a pale pink due to the cold, his buzzed hair that Adam helped shave off from time to time. His soft lips that were thinned to a straight and angry line, and his eyes… His eyes were piercing through his head like a bullet.

“I’m going to stab it in the head with the fire poker, Lynch,” Adam said calmly. “After I exorcize it from my body.”

“And that’s going to fucking work?” Ronan growled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“It should. It’s made of iron.” He replied, simply.

Gansey turned towards Ronan, “Demons can be weakened by iron.” He explained, ”Although, essentially it’s the exorcism that sends them back to hell.” 

“Adam,” Blue said suddenly, “You’re going to need someone to help finish that.”

“Why does he need help with that?” Ronan demanded sharply but sounded genuinely curious.

Blue made eye contact with Ronan, “The exorcism won’t be over once the demon departs Adam’s body. Right now, it’s taking most of his energy so once it leaves, Adam will be weaker.” She started, “Weak enough that he might not be able to stay conscious.” 

Gansey looked confused, furrowing his brows and glancing back at Adam. “Does that still apply to him though? If he’s the Magician?” 

It went quiet as everyone tried to think if it would or not. Adam didn’t think it still applied to him since his sacrifice was for Cabeswater and since the forest was no more, he didn’t know if he was still _The_ Magician. The demon though… the demon was strong enough to consume Cabeswater’s energy and crawled in the crevices of his muscle. It took control of his hands and was able to see what he saw and hear what he heard. This time, it was much stronger than the last time they faced it. So he didn’t doubt that it didn’t apply to him anymore.

Eventually, Adam shrugged, “I guess we’ll find out.”

Ronan was not happy with that answer, “What did we talk about with the whole self-sacrificing shit, Adam?” He spoke low, almost at a whisper. The use of his name being used in that sentence caused the ache in his chest to grow and anger that Ronan was currently burying begun to sprout like a plant that has been watered and given sunlight. Too much water, however, he would drown and too much sunlight, he will be burned. Adam tried to come up with an answer that wouldn’t let either of those to happen.

“If everything goes according to plan then I’ll be fine,” Adam repeated his words from early this morning, “I don’t know what to expect.” He carefully stated.

Ronan shook his head and his lips shaped themselves into a snarl, “Then quit acting like a fucking dumbass.”

Adam said nothing but stood in place for a split second before walking over the pentagram. He placed the bowl in the center of the star before making his towards Ronan. Gansey was tense while talking to Blue, using hand gestures in a way that made him think he was trying to swat a fly away. 

“I’m sorry,” Adam apologized once he got closer, his accent drawing the word out slowly. He wasn’t just sorry about acting as if any of this wasn’t a big deal though. If things really did go to shit, he wanted Ronan to know.

He watched Ronan’s chin tilt down slightly and his eyes narrowed. His voice was tight and thin as if he wanted to do nothing more than be a part of this, “I’ll help you finish the ritual.” 

Adam cocked his head to the side, “Are you sure?” He asked tensely.

Ronan rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Yeah, shithead. I’m the only one here with good latin.”

“That,” Adam pointed his nose upward but smiled cheekily, “Is a lie. Your latin is terrible.”

Adam expected a snarky remark come from his boyfriend’s lips but instead, he watched Ronan’s eyes soften inconsiderably and felt a rough calloused hand fall over his left cheek. It trembled and Adam wouldn’t have known so if Ronan wasn’t touching him so lightly.

“Just…” Ronan struggled. His mouth opened and closed and opened again as if the words he wanted to say were difficult to form over his tongue. There was something inscrutable watching Ronan Lynch be at loss for words. Nervousness curled over Adam’s heart and he wondered what he wanted to say if he let him. It left him feeling more apprehensive than the ritual itself so he shook his head and Ronan’s hand fell away.

“Let’s get this over with, Lynch,” Adam said, his tone set with a gentle tiredness. He grabbed the hand that hung limply at his side and pulled it to his lips, giving his knuckle a pressed kiss. Ronan swallowed and the vulnerability was gone from his eyes in an instant and was replaced by fierce protectiveness, which was something so new to Adam. He’s spent years alone ㄧ years of being scared and in the dark without anybody but himself to keep him afloat. Now, he had friends who wouldn’t hesitate to help him and to be by his side. All at once, Adam felt great appreciation for his friends and for Ronan. A feeling that spread throughout his body and made him want to cry. 

He blinked the tears that began to pool in the edge of his eyes and turned from Ronan. He felt Ronan’s hand squeeze his own before letting Adam go for good. 

It made it a bit harder to hold the tears back. 

He strutted back to Blue and Gansey, who was now giving each other a sad stare. Adam didn’t ask what they were talking about though because, at the same time, Blue caught the sudden attention that was on her and elbowed Gansey to follow her gaze.

“Let’s end this. Once and for all,” Blue said meekly. Adam tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it made him feel sick to his stomach. He gave a stiff nod and stepped into the pentagram, avoiding the still wet paint that littered the grass and sat in one of the triangles. He faced the bowl in front of him, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

“I’m ready,” He said, opening his eyes. The wind picked up abruptly once the words left his mouth, causing Adam to shiver violently. He looked up at Ronan, who stood over him but wasn’t inside the circle. 

“Ready,” Ronan grunted.

Adam made sure the fire poker was close enough for him to reach once he came to, then he looked down at the filled bowl and begun.

***

Adam wasn’t in the trailer park this time. However, he recognized the stale scent of wet cool dirt as well as a pungent smell mixed with a tinge of sickening sweetness. Adam gagged, his hands grabbing his throat in desperation for clean, fresh, air. When he looked at his surroundings, however, he was right where he thought he would be. 

Cabeswater.

However, it wasn’t the Cabeswater he grew to know and love, it was the version of when the Third Sleeper was sucking its life away, turning the dewy trees and grass to nothing but rot. Slowly but surely, the liveliness drained away and swirls of deep gray and black took its place. The sky overhead matched the sky in Henrietta with the addition of lighting cracking in the distance. Adam’s surroundings were dull of color and it made him feel a sort of loss bloom in his chest. Not even his white t-shirt gave him any feeling of reassurance.

“It’s because you’ve already lost.” A deep voice interjected. Adam turned his head to see the demon raise its hand to an untouched tree. Once it made contact, the green jewels seeped from their color and the trunk caved in on itself.

Adam swallowed dry, “Why are you showing me this?”

The demon didn’t speak right away as it finished its action. When it did, its body turned to Adam

“This is a representation of what your body currently looks like.” 

Adam cocked his head to the side and looked around. The demon continued,

“Your body is rotting away. A special little gift I have and the longer you carry out your denial then you will completely become corrupted and wither away like the sad species you are. I’ll still be able to use you as a host but your soul will be gone.” 

Adam was not surprised. He’d been feeling worse as the days flew by and now knowing the cause was because the demon was slowly destroying his organs and mind felt as if the puzzle pieces were coming together.

“If you could take over my body anyways then why did you give me an option for my soul to stay?” Adam questioned.

A sadistic smile snaked upward on the third sleeper’s wide face, “Humans have a strange fear of death. They question what is beyond life. As an attempt to get you to agree, I offered you something besides it.”

“You offered to trap me in my own body,” Adam muttered darkly. 

The demon began to float closer to him. Adam forced himself not to flinch. “Yes,” The demon started, “and it did not seem to have worked. Why is that?”

Adam breathed in deeply, his lungs getting use to the disgusting smell, “I’ve been controlled and trapped in that trailer house my whole life. I won’t let myself get in a situation like that again.” 

The entity hummed in acknowledgment and stopped in front of him. It leaned forward until the smell of rot intensified and Adam choked a cough down his throat. 

“Then why have you decided to make contact with me?” It asked finally.

It then occurred to Adam that it has no idea what he plans on doing. 

_The Magician. Right._ Adam couldn’t believe that he was able to hide this so well and now it all made sense.

The shock must have shown on his face because the demon backed away slowly. Without any time to waste, Adam began to chant.

_“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus…”_

“Do you really think that’s going to stop me?” Bellowed the demon but Adam ignored it, his voice begun to rise, becoming more confident with his plan more than ever as he watched the third sleeper panic for more fresh greens to take. When seeing that there was none, it raised a desperate tentacle from its body and latched onto Adam’s wrist.

 _“...omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii…”_ Adam continued, wincing through the pain that now laced through his arm. Another tentacle grabbed Adam’s other wrist and another his neck. Adam’s breathes became shallow and he struggled to continue through the ritual. 

The demon closed in on him again. Adam couldn’t see its eyes but it was obvious the glare was unmistakably there. “You have made a colossal omission, Adam Parrish.” It said with a slowness that only concluded Adam’s end. 

Adam watched, wide-eyed as the demon rose taller than it was just seconds ago. Rising and rising until its belly was in front of him and its head was several inches above his own.

“I’m no longer giving you a choice.” It snarled, tipping Adam’s neck to watch the long purpled tongue fall through its mouth, “I hope you said your goodbyes.”

Adam wheezed as he realized its body began to move and started morphing over his feet, up to his legs and knees. Adam fought with all the strength he could muster but the tentacles holding him in place allowed no movement from him.

Just as the demon reached Adam’s mid-stomach a soft yet determined voice broke through the barrier of conscious and unconscious, sounding awfully familiar.

 _“...omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica…”_ It chanted.

_Ronan._

Adam gave the third sleeper an unsteady smirk. His eyes felt as if they were to pop out of their sockets but he managed to close them as he waited out the loud screech the demon made. Just as quickly he was being consumed by the blackened goop, was he released from its hold. Adam collapsed to the ground, his eyes teared up as he struggled to catch his breath. He clutched at his chest and looked up, breathing heavily as he watched the demon panic and scream, sounding more like fingernails running down a chalkboard than any horror movie he's seen. 

And suddenly he’s being ripped from his subconscious and he’s awake. Automatically, Adam realized he was wet. His body had fallen over sometimes during the exchange and his t-shirt and pants were soaked through due to the dampened grass. He groaned weakly over the noise of Ronan continuing to chant the ritual and he heard both panicked yells from Blue and Gansey over the howling screams of the demon. Realizing he was awake and hearing the thing that has been corrupting him for so long, made Adam open his eyes. Except, everything was blurry. It was as if his eyesight was an unfocused camera and could only make out strange colored blobs. He slammed his eyes shut, willing for them to focus because he has to stab it in the head. He has to finish this _now._

Goosebumps appeared over his skin, causing Adam to shutter violently. His throat hurt and his fingertips began to grow feeling into them as the blood quickly rushed through his anemic hands. He managed to flip over to his side, using his arm for support as he strained his sluggish muscles. 

_“...Ergo draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te…”_ Ronan’s voice carried on but it was laced with alarm and terror. Adam lifted his head slowly, his eyes coming in and out of focus but he stared right into Ronan’s bright and scared eyes as he chanted impossibly slow. Buying him some time as he attempted to get himself in order.

But it wouldn’t be enough. Because Ronan was trying to go slow for him but Adam couldn’t find the damn fire poker.

 _“...Cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae perditionis venenum propinare…”_ Ronan gritted out as Blue and Gansey shouted at him at the same time. Adam couldn’t understand what they were saying with all the other noises he was hearing and it hurt to speak so he didn’t bother trying to tell them to be quiet as he scrambled around. 

_“...Vade, Satana, inventor et magister…”_

The demon was getting restless. It screeched vociferously and its body was seizing violently on the ground in front of him. 

“You… damn… menace!” The demon shrieked deafeningly. 

“...omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis…” Ronan finished.

Adam didn’t find the fire poker on time. 

The third sleeper howled in pain but somehow managed to jump up. Adam could focus on it clearly as it surged towards him. Claws appeared on its wispy hands, ready to end its prey. Adam ducked, enclosing his arms around his head and he curled in on himself and he waited for the excruciating pain of its talons meeting his body. However, it never came.

Instead, Adam heard a squelch and then a low grunt; a soft thud followed shortly after.

It was silent for exactly three seconds before Blue began to scream again and Gansey started repeating, “Oh my God.” Over and over again. 

That is when Adam lifted his head. It felt heavy, ready to fall to the floor as if it was only a brick. 

The demon was gone. Withered away to hell.

But Ronan’s body was halfway in the pentagram. His eyes glassy and stared at Adam, not seeing. His face was covered in blackened goo because he was the one to stab it to hell with the sharpened object. 

Adam failed him though. Because the fire poker was sticking straight through his chest and cleanly out his back. 

Adam felt the blood drain from his face at the realization of Ronan’s actions because Ronan Lynch just saved Adam’s life but not without the cost of losing his own.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam had never hated the cold or the color grey more than he did today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys!! The final chapter is out and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read, commented, bookmarked, and/or gave this story kudos because all of those little actions inspired me to keep writing. I started planning this last year and begun writing back in February so I cannot believe it's been nearly a year since I started writing Wake Up. I appreciate everyone's support and I hope I finished this story off to your liking.  
> I combined this chapter and the epilogue together so it's in here as well :)
> 
> And a fun little fact: In the first draft, I was actually not going to kill anyone and in the second draft I was going to kill Adam before finally deciding to kill Ronan off. But don't worry everyone!! I can't write sad endings.
> 
> I hope to hear your thoughts in the comments section below! Enjoy!
> 
> t/w: Mentions of self-harm -- purposefully digging nails into one's skin -- happens twice in the chapter, and mentions of death. Any questions or concerns please message me on Tumblr at bi-bliotaph and stay safe <3

Adam felt like he was drowning. 

No matter how much air he tried to swallow down, nothing could save him from the undying terror that settled precipitately over his chest. The anxiety and realization of Ronan’s actions before it was too late – until Adam stared down at the fire poker impaling Ronan’s chest and his dark eyelashes that were so stark compared to his pale skin and his glassy, once bright blue eyes, that dulled to a light grey. 

_Dead._ Adam thought. _Ronan is fucking dead._

The roar in his ear was loud and frightening. He wanted to throw up, scream, sob, and shake Ronan awake so he could castigate him that this kind of shit wasn’t funny. Maybe all of the above because that’s what he was feeling. Adam was about to do the latter, crawling forward with wobbly yet desperate knees, and went to reach to touch Ronan’s shoulder with his hand before remembering that Blue and Gansey were present. His eyes slid over to the two.

Blue stood like a statue, her hands shielding her mouth that froze with a wordless scream – her big round eyes were wide and filled with shock and terror that Adam could feel in his own. She was taller than him when he was on the ground. However, she looked so incredibly small when her arms were so close together – as if she was hugging herself tightly to wake up from a nightmare that neither of them could escape.

Gansey had fallen to the ground. His skin had turned ghostly white and his brows furrowed upward with dread and panic. His knees were slowly soaking the wet, muddy earth that would likely stain his pants right away. His hazel eyes expanded in size slowly, sweeping over Ronan’s body over and over again as his brain caught up with reality. 

“Please tell me this isn’t real.” Gansey’s voice cracked through the charged silence. Adam opened his mouth, intending to reply, but no words left his lips so he closed them again. He didn’t want it to be real either.

Suddenly there was a loud, broken squeal that came from the sky. The three teenagers looked upwards, simultaneously from the noise, and watched as Chainsaw struggled to keep her wings flapping against the wind and witnessed her suddenly drop as if she hit a glass window. Adam heard Blue let out a choked noise before they were all startled by Gansey’s ringtone. 

Adam turned his head to look at his friend. Gansey was not put together enough to answer whoever it was but he watched him reach into his pocket and pulled his cell phone out. 

“It’s Declan,” Gansey whispered, alarmed. He looked so frail and tired sitting there on the grass. He appeared as though to be isolated – with his shoulders slumped forward and his face guarded with a blank expression. He looked to be ready to break at any moment and Adam was about to bear witness the boy who died twice, shatter because his best friend was murdered right in front of their eyes.

It dawned on Adam, slowly then all at once. His thoughts felt muddled and slow as if he spent too long studying for a test. The reason that Declan was calling Gansey now was that… “Matthew.” He breathed out. Gansey’s head snapped up from the phone and made eye contact with Adam again. If possible, Gansey’s face paled even more and Adam had to swallow down the nauseated feeling of seeing Gansey as white as Ronan. 

“I–I…” Gansey stammered. He didn’t know what to do, Adam realized. How could anyone take a call about their best friend’s current health when it was already obvious to the person on the other end. They all knew after a Greywarren dies, their dream creatures fall into a sleep-induced coma. Matthew was just like Chainsaw and… _Opal._ God, Opal was all alone and who knew where she was after they left her at home. From all that he acquired, she could have been out in the field or near the hiking trail she ventured off to months ago. Anyone could see her which could lead them to discover her legs.

Adam’s chest heaved at the severity of panic he felt. Everything inside him hurt as if heavy rocks held him down. Nothing about this felt real.

Blue’s voice was thick when she spoke. “W-We need to fix this. Do you think Declan–”

Adam shook his head before Blue finished. “I doubt Declan could do much,” Adam rasped, cutting her off mid-sentence, “I–” Adam motioned uselessly at Ronan’s body with a hand. He didn’t know what he could do. He just wanted to do _something_ because there was no Cabeswater to save Ronan as it did with Gansey. 

The ring from Gansey’s phone cut out – the call going to voicemail for Declan. Gansey dropped the phone as though it was made of hot iron and it fell to the grass with a small squish and Gansey’s arm slowly lowered to rest on his thigh. A loud rumble of thunder boomed overhead, mockingly, and Adam wanted to punch something out of frustration. 

From the corner of his eye, Adam watched Blue take a step forward to rest a hand between Gansey’s shoulder blades. Something inside him clawed against his heart and for a brief second, he thought maybe the demon wasn’t dead. Maybe this was all part of its sick game and Ronan was murdered because Adam delivered him to the devil himself. White hot anger and guilt rippled down his body at his idiocy. This was all his fault. He escorted Ronan right to death's door so he was to blame. Adam felt selfish thinking that he should have confronted this burden alone like he use to, before meeting the others because the pain in his body hurt so much he didn’t know if he'll ever be able to breathe again.

“Should… Should we call someone?” Blue hesitated. Adam had never heard her voice so soft-spoken since Gansey had died. 

Adam bit out the words before he could calm himself. “Who are we going to call, Blue?” He gritted out. His hands turned themselves into fists, finding comfort in the way his nails dug into the palm of his hands. He felt so overwhelmed with everything. “What are we going to say? What’s there for us to fix even? Because Ronan’s fucking dead and he never finished creating a second Cabeswater to come save him.” His words were harsh and cold with his Henrietta accent drawing the letters out but they didn’t scare Blue from backing down. He felt her eyes narrow on the side of his head.

“Stop it, Adam.” She snipped, “I’m just trying to find a solution.” 

Adam counted backward from ten to one and then again in Latin. Breathing in heavily through his nose and out his mouth, repeating the cycle until his hands began to loosen painfully. The progress reminded him of a time when Persephone was teaching him different rituals that were innocent enough to do and wouldn’t take up all his energy compared to the rituals that would be more difficult. 

“I want to try something.” He said finally. Both Blue and Gansey’s heads perked up in interest. Their eyes filled with confusion and hope for success. 

“What is that?” Gansey questioned, the fight lost from his voice.

Adam turned his hands around and inspected the deep half-moons that tattooed his palms. Small beads of blood were sprouting through the thin layer of skin he tore away. “I don’t know if it would work,” He said cautiously, his voice low. “But before Persephone died she taught me a few other things other than how to read tarot cards.” 

“You don’t mean…” Blue trailed.

Adam nodded, “It’s worth a shot, don't you think?” 

“I… I don’t know. I’ve never heard of one be done successfully before.” 

Gansey jumped in, looking between the two. “What do you two mean?” He asked, confused.

Adam turned his head to face him. “I’m going to attempt to bring him back to life.”

Gansey’s jaw dropped slightly, stunned into silence. He looked conflicted. The corners of his mouth turning upwards somewhat as if he was glad Adam was going to bring his best friend back from the dead but confused and worried about the repercussions. Everyone knew – what’s dead should stay dead – from reading fantasy stories. Gansey was brought back twice though; by a ghost and a magical forest. This was possible, it had to be.

His brunette friend lifted his thumb to his bottom lip, pressing it and kneading into it. Gansey was nervous, Adam could tell. He was too. 

“How are you going to…?” Gansey finally asked, giving Adam his approval while also refusing to look down at Ronan’s corpse. 

Adam’s hands shook a bit in his lap. “I have to remove the rod from… from his chest before I start and block the wounds so he doesn’t bleed out any more than necessary.” He took a deep breath, still feeling nauseated. “I need to… I need a marker, preferably black – so I can draw on myself. I’m going to copy some of Ronan’s tattoo and that’s how we’ll stay connected. I’ll say the ritual and he’ll come back to life.” The way Adam explained it only simplified the process. There was so much more to what he was about to do. Persephone had warned him over and over again about this specific spell and that was how he was able to memorize it so well. Or maybe she knew there would come a time where Adam needed to use it. It was hard to say.

“Stay connected? What do you mean by that?” Gansey wondered out loud.

Adam swallowed dry, “I mean, Ronan’s tattoo is a part of him so once I copy part of it on my skin and say the ritual…” 

“His life will be intertwined with Ronan’s.” Blue continued, “They’ll be able to feel each other’s emotions and feel each other’s pain and if one dies, so will the other.”

Gansey looked at her with a mixture of astonishment and distress. “What?” He squeaked.

Blue looked down at him with a grimly. “Ultimately, it will save Ronan’s life.” 

Adam winced at Gansey’s expression when he turned to look at him. “You can do that?” He asked in a calm manner. His hazel eyes looked up at Adam as if he could hold the world in his hands. In a sense, he was. They all loved Ronan in different ways and for each one of them, he was their world. A best friend, a brother, a lover… A world without Ronan was bleak to Adam and he knew he had to succeed in doing this. He had to give in all his energy and power to make this happen because Adam didn’t think he could get through the pain and emptiness he was feeling in his chest every day.

“I have to try,” Adam said steadily. 

Gansey nodded, “What can we do?”

Adam didn’t want to look at Ronan’s cold dead corpse but he had to eventually. He took in a shaky breath before answering, “I just need a marker or a pen. I might need Blue to make everything louder when I say what I need to say and uh, you guys might want to cover your ears and close your eyes for when I pull the rod out.” He warned. Gansey went pale again but understood what he was asking. He fumbled again with his shirt and pants before taking out a black pen and handing it to Adam. 

“Thanks,” Adam said dryly. “I’m… I’m going to…” He motioned his hand to the stick that stuck out from Ronan. 

“Wait – here,” Blue started, Adam turned his head and saw her stripping out of her jacket. “In case the blood flow is still heavy.” She explained, handing it to Adam. 

“Um…” 

Blue rolled her eyes. “I hate that jacket. Besides, I could get it dry cleaned or something.” 

“Thanks, Blue.” Adam tried to give her a smile but one never formed. 

He turned then, shuttering at how pale and cold and _dead_ Ronan looked. Whilst Ronan was already so pale, he was now chalky white with emotionless blue lips that were usually so pink and lively. He was a furnace whenever he was next to Adam and kept him warm on chilly nights when they slept together and hugged, able to warm his dry chapped hands with just holding his hand for seconds. When Adam touched his cheek, just grazing gingerly with his knuckle, his skin was like ice. He never hated the cold more than at this moment. 

“Sorry, Lynch… This… This might hurt.” He knew he was talking to himself, mostly to make himself feel better about the situation. You can’t hurt someone who is dead. 

His hand wrapped around the fire poker – the excess blood had already hardened against the chilled winds and freezing air temperature and Adam had the urge to flinch away. He closed his eyes, slowly getting up starting by shifting a foot from under him and shakily begun to stand. A pair of hands found his elbows and Adam’s eyes flew open in surprise. Turning his head around to see who was behind him, he found Gansey had latched on. 

“I got you.” Was all he said. Adam nodded, feeling incredibly thankful for his willingness to support. Before looking back to the task at hand, he noticed Blue had gotten closer and also grabbed the rod, her hand above his own. 

“You aren’t doing this alone, Adam.” She whispered wistfully, her eyes never wavering and held determination. He thanked her silently. 

“On the count of three, Blue.” He said. He waited for her nod of understanding before counting down. “One… Two…” He braced himself wordlessly. “...Three!” 

The sound of the iron rod exiting Ronan was a sound he never wanted to hear again. It embedded itself into his brain like a parasite, unwanted and dangerous. As soon as it was freed, Blue let go and Adam threw the damned thing away from them as if it was recently used in the fire and scolded his skin. He quickly covered the wound with Blue’s jacket, pressing hard and tried to push his nausea down by breathing in and out in shallow gasps. He felt Gansey’s hands squeeze his elbows hard and practically held him up from slumping against Ronan.

“Okay… Okay… The hard p-part is over.” Adam said, his teeth chattering. “Blue?” He muttered weakly, his head tilting toward where his hands held the jacket down with a muted request. She looked pale under the grey sky but understood what he wanted her to do. 

While she put pressure over the wound, Blue slowly and carefully lifted Ronan’s shirt away from his skin until most of the tattoo was exposed. Ronan was already on his back so they were able to access his tattoo easily and Adam lifted his own shirt a bit. The frigid air bit into his skin as he begun coping part of Ronan’s tattoo on his hip. Adam was no tattoo artist and his hands shook from the traumatic event that took place as well as from the cold. It didn’t look as graceful as the original but he traced just as carefully. He peered down at the different swirls and shapes that made up the beauty on Ronan’s back. The lines seemed to be connected to one another in a never-ending story of raw emotion and pain. 

Once he was able to replicate as much as he could, Adam capped the pen and set it on the ground. “I’m ready.” He said to his friends. 

Gansey left his side, giving him the space he needed and returned to sinking his knees into the wet earth. Blue shuffled to his side instead and placed a hand over his right shoulder. 

“Remember to breathe. This spell might take a lot out of you.” She gently warned. 

Adam took a breathe in, nodded, and began to chant. 

The ritual wasn’t too long but it was powerful. Adam was giving part of himself to Ronan so he could live and breathe again and it can take nearly every ounce of his energy. Persephone has warned him to take his time with overwhelming spells like this one. If he wasn’t careful, he could burn out which could conclusively lead to his own death. He felt Blue’s hand squeeze his shoulder, grounding him and helping him push through the drowsiness he felt without any warning. 

It was going to be worth it though, Adam thought. Because the selfish part of him didn’t want Ronan’s death on his conscious but he knows… He knows that Ronan deserves to continue living. He was only eighteen and he has plans. _They_ have plans. He never hated the color grey as much as today and Adam so desperately wanted to see those brilliant, effulgent, baby blues. _Alive_ and _Telling,_ holding so many emotions that swam effortlessly within despite his outer appearance speaking something else. He wanted to see them shine mischievously whenever he teased Adam. Witness as his pupils dilate with lust and love. Watch as his smile melt from a sharp, jagged thing, to something that was meant just for him. To feel his long arms around him and breathe in his scent of wet wood and sweet cream with a hint of soap and cologne. To have him next to him because somehow he’s grown to gravitate towards him whenever he was around.

He never noticed when Ronan became such an important person in his life. He realized it, many months ago, but never when it started. Adam swore to himself he wouldn’t rely on another person – only for that rule to completely fly out the window when it came to Ronan. 

He didn’t know why he was so special. Maybe he was the way he clearly cared for him but never forced him into talking about his trauma or acting as though he was made of glass. Maybe it was when Ronan took the time and effort into teaching him how to drive stick or demonstrating that bruises didn’t have to come from fists or harsh words.

It could have been all of the above and more. 

So much more. 

So when Adam was finally finished with the ritual, his lids feeling heavy and his body leaning heftily in Blue’s arms, he panicked because Ronan still wasn’t breathing and his eyes stayed grey. He began to backtrack. Did he draw the tattoo wrong? Did he say a word wrong? Was it him yet again?

It delayed just enough to where Adam was ready to give in to the unconscious. He didn’t want to deal with the knowledge that he failed again. 

It was like turning a switch on in the dark. Ronan inhaled deeply, his eyes closed tightly and begun to blink violently, as if trying to regain his eyesight back, and soon his breaths were coming out in shallow wheezes. His arms flailed around, trying to search for something by touch only to stop when his hand caught Adam’s ankle and squeezed, however, it didn’t look like anything was registering. 

Adam could cry from relief. 

Beside him, he heard Gansey shuffling, crying out Ronan’s name with a sob as he reached for him.

“Ronan? Oh, Ronan Ronan Ronan…” Gansey repeated. He sat next to the other side of Ronan, across from himself and Blue, and Ronan turned his head to look the brunette. Behind Adam, he could hear Blue crying and sniffling and her fingers continued to dig into his shoulder.

“Jesus fuck, Gansey. You’re a mess,” Ronan said, voice hoarse as though he’s been screaming. 

Gansey let out a whimpered laugh, “Don’t ever scare me like that again, you shithead.” His hand came to rest on Ronan’s cheek. He was still pale but not as grey and blue looking. 

Ronan groaned, “What the hell happened?” He asked, sounding more tired than confused. 

Gansey’s eyes flickered to him and Blue before smiling sadly down at Ronan. “You jumped to save Adam –”

“Adam,” Ronan demanded, remembering, “where is –”

“Right here, Lynch,” Adam said weakly. He forced a cough down, attempting to push himself up with the help of Blue. Ronan turned his head, raising his arms to hold himself into a plank. Adam looked at him, his blue – _blue_ – eyes staring at him widely. 

Ronan was quick to sit up for a man who was dead for a couple of minutes. His wince was visible and his hand automatically went to his chest where the fire rod sliced through him. Gansey was over him within a second as Blue was too busy helping Adam up to his knees. 

“What the fuck?” Ronan questioned. He hiked his shirt up past his stomach until he reached the wounded area. 

“Careful Ronan –” Gansey’s voice cut off after seeing what was left. 

The lesion was healing already. Healing just enough to keep him from dying again and Adam knew this was the only time the spell would work like this. Next time – God forbid if there ever would be next time – either of them was stabbed again, the injury would have to heal normally. Hence why if either of them died the other would too.

Adam was able to sit up properly now. His smile was anemic. “I did a pretty good job, yeah?” 

Ronan looked back up at him, taking in his form quickly and searching for any visible injuries. “What did you do, Parrish?” 

“I–” Gansey’s phone cut him off. 

Without leaving Ronan’s side for too long, Gansey reached over for his phone that was still soaking in the mud. “Ah, I forgot.” He said, solemnly. “Declan called me as soon as you… Um… I think it’s about Matthew.” 

Ronan’s expression was panic-stricken. “Fuck! Answer it, Dick.” 

Gansey nodded and clicked the answer button before handing it to Ronan. 

“Declan?” Ronan asked nervously. Adam couldn’t hear what Ronan’s older brother was saying on the other side but he could tell it was just ask emotional as they were. 

“Yeah, Dec. Parrish… He did something and I’m back now.” He looked over to Adam, eyeing him once over again, looking worried. “Is… Is Matty… okay?” He was quiet for a couple of seconds before his shoulders evidently relaxed. It seemed like the others could read into Ronan’s body language too because Blue let out a sigh of relief and Gansey smiled softly.

“The Magician,” Blue whispered into his good ear. Adam couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

Ronan continued, “Good, good. I’m… No, I have to check up on Opal and Chainsaw… Yeah, tomorrow. Okay. Declan? I’m sorry I scared you.” Ronan was quiet for a while after that, his lips thinned and slightly wobbled. “I love you too. You and Matty. I’ll see you two soon.” He said and hung up.

Ronan took a deep breath, running his hand over his scalp and covered his mouth with a hand. He wasn’t crying but it seemed as though Ronan had to process the situation. Adam didn’t think Ronan _was_ thinking when he threw himself in front of him. He hadn’t had time to fully digest that he had just died and come back from the dead. Technically, everyone that came from his dreams did too. 

“God, I’m so fucking tired,” Ronan stated. He rubbed an eye and observed the area. The bright pink spray paint Adam had painted with was smeared away from the light drizzle and blood from both the demon and Ronan. The iron rod was on the ground as well and Ronan eyed it aggressively. 

“It’s because of me,” Adam said. Most of his strength was returning to him and he was able to stand up with agonizing speed. “I was able to perform another ritual to bring you back and it took a lot outta me.” 

Blue stood up along with Adam, her hands barely brushing over his arm, weary about him stumbling to the ground. 

Ronan’s eyes narrowed. “What did that exactly intel?” 

“You are me and I am you.” He shrugged, “Basically we can feel each other’s feelings and pain if something were to happen.” 

Ronan said nothing once Adam explained the shortest version possible. He moved closer to him and stood adjacent enough to be able to catch him if he fell. 

“You’re an idiot, Parrish.” Was all that Ronan said. Adam felt a wave of anger sweeping over him but planted it down down _down._ Ronan had noticed the sudden silence that took over Adam however because the taller boy’s shoulders slumped forward and he head dipped down. He wrapped his arms around Adam and buried his nose in his dusty damp hair. “You’re such an idiot.” He repeated but this time, Ronan’s voice cracked. 

Adam felt tears gathering in his eyes and he hardly had time to stop them before they fell, rolling down his freckled cheeks warm and quickly. He realized now, that he had also scared him and Ronan wasn’t criticizing that action of bringing him back from the dead but rather evaluating in putting himself in so much danger that he nearly got himself killed.

“I’m sorry, Ronan. I’m so sorry.” Adam whispered brokenly. He enveloped him, his fingers clutching to the fabric of his shirt and pressed his left ear to Ronan’s heart, feeling the strong steady beat of it. 

Ronan squeezed him gently. Content with holding each other and picking up the pieces that were left. Adam knew that this would have everlasting effects, he wasn’t stupid. For right now, however, he was able to close his eyes and open them with the knowledge that Ronan was right beside him and wasn’t leaving them today. 

When they parted, still close and tenderly gripping one another, Ronan leaned down and kissed his dusted nose. He removed his hands from Adam’s waist and ever so carefully, began to use the pad of his thumbs to brush away the tears that continued to leak gracefully to his chin. Adam stared lovingly into Ronan’s eyes, noticing how tears threatened to fall from them too. 

“We’re okay. It’s over now, yeah?” Ronan gave him a small smile, cupping his cheeks once his tears stopped spilling so quickly. 

Adam nodded, “Yeah.” He said breathlessly. 

Just then, a horrific _squawk_ sounded in the near distance. Everyone looked up to the darkened sky, startled, only to find Chainsaw flying thru the air, flapping her beautiful black wings sturdily against the winds. Ronan let out a sudden laugh, grinning from ear to ear as he watched her take a nose dive towards Ronan. He let go of Adam’s cheeks and raised an arm out for her to perch on and she clumsily landed, screaming a series of _Kerahs_ as she hopped to his shoulder and nuzzled under his chin. Ronan smiled and kissed the top of her head, smoothing down her ruffled feathers from her fall and the wind. 

“I know. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” He teased. 

Suddenly Blue stepped forward and gave him a hug. It was funny to Adam, how short she looked against him. 

“I’m glad you’re alive, you giant.” She said considerately. Ronan looked slightly surprised and tried to cover it up by wrinkling his nose in disdain. 

“Maggot, get off me.” He grunted. Blue laughed and let go but not without fisting his shoulder lightly. 

“Should have known better to get a friendlier treatment from the asshole of the group.” She accused. 

Ronan shook his head. “That's not how you do it. Didn’t you learn anything from us this past couple of years? Jesus, what an animal.” 

Blue raised an eyebrow. “What? You want a fistbump instead?” 

The taller boy rolled his eyes and motioned for Gansey to get closer. “Get over here Gansey.” He demanded. Gansey only had to take a few steps towards them but Ronan grabbed him, then Adam and Blue, and pulled them all against him. 

“This is never happening again so relish it now.” 

Nobody said anything in reply to Ronan. They stood there, holding each other up and being each other’s rock. 

They hugged for a long while – neither of them ready to let go and continue life as though nothing happened because something did. Each and every one of them was affected that day and they wouldn’t forget about the events that took place any time soon. But they were together. They were alive. And that’s what mattered. 

***

**Epilogue**

It was dark by the time Adam drove them back to the Barns once the group separated. Gansey and Blue planned to join them again at Ronan’s childhood home after picking up some comfort food from Ninos. They would have followed them but Ronan needed to check up on Opal, the last of the people that had been affected by his death. 

Adam didn't speed but he wanted to. He was just as worried about her as Ronan was, wondering the same questions over and over again. If she’s alright, if she’s scared, if she’s safe. He knew she would be worried because Chainsaw knew what had happened. Opal had been knowing since before he met her. She was smart and probably felt scared and alone when waking up after falling asleep so suddenly. 

They didn’t talk during the drive. Both boys settling peacefully in silence and taking in the other’s presence despite the high anxiety that was charged in the small space. Ronan’s leg bounced up and down and he fiddled with the leather bracelets on his wrists continuously. 

The drive didn’t take as long as it did from when they left Adam’s apartment, however. And as soon as Adam parked the car in the middle of the dirt driveway, both Ronan and Adam jumped out and practically ran inside – yelling out Opal’s name with worry laced in Adam’s voice and Ronan yelling out for her by calling her brat. Chainsaw flew around the house as though to tell them that the other dream creature was inside somewhere.

They didn’t get very far after entering the darkened house though. Opal was sitting on the first step of the stairway, her arms wrapped around her legs protectively and her chin rested on top of her knees. Her cheeks, red and wet, from shedding tears and she sniffled loudly. Adam switched on the light so they could see her more clearly.

 _“Kerah?!”_ She bellowed, shooting upright with dizzyingly speed. Ronan noticed her on time to kneel to the ground as she plowed into Ronan’s arms and engulfed him into a bone-crushing hug. Adam fell to his own knees, more slowly and carefully as Opal sobbed into Ronan’s shirt. 

“Shh…” Ronan ushered reassuringly. His hand carded through her messy blond hair slowly. “You’re alright, kid.” 

Opal wailed louder, her tiny hands fisted Ronan’s shirt so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. Adam placed a hand on her shoulder and began rubbing small circles with his finger as an attempt to comfort.

It took a long time to get her to calm down enough to speak. Snot ran down her rosy nose and Ronan looked down at his shirt with disgust. 

“Jesus, Opal. Let's get you cleaned up so _I_ can clean up. No more crying tonight, understood?” He asked with a more lighter tone. The dream creature nodded mutely, taking both Ronan and Adam’s hand to lead them to the kitchen. 

“Have you eaten anything recently, Opal?” Adam wanted to know. She nodded her head, her hair sticking to her face.

“I ate something when I went exploring today.” She said quietly. 

“Are you still hungry?”

“No.”

Adam accepted her answer, not feeling too hungry himself despite not have eaten much of anything for the past couple of days. 

Ronan sat Opal down on top of the counter and wetted a towel with warm water. She was still squeezing Adam’s hand tightly as though she was afraid that letting both of them go at the same time would cause a ripple effect and would never see either of them again. It made Adam feel guilty.

Ronan must have sensed that feeling of guilt because his head whipped to face him, looking a bit startled. He would be able to feel that the emotion wasn’t his own. Another person feelings were distinguishably different from their own and it would definitely take some time to get used to.

Adam shook his head when Ronan opened his mouth, looking a little angry. However, Adam could feel that it was more determination of wanting Adam to stop feeling so upset about everything and he promised with his eyes that they’d make time later tonight to talk. For right now, they needed to get Opal situated and comfort her as much as they can.

The taller boy seemed to understand and focused his attention back on the piece of cloth in his hand. His mouth was set in a straight line and his eyes hardened with the frustration that they couldn’t talk at this very moment. He squeezed the excess water from it and shifted back to Opal instead.

Ronan was gentle with her, cupping her reddened cheek with a hand as he unstuck loose strands of hairs from her tear stained face. He slowly wiped away snot and cleaned her hair as best as he could without making her take a shower. She had sad, fearful eyes, that she never took away from Ronan as he kissed the top of her head and washed her face. It wasn’t long until Adam felt a nervous squeeze of his hand before she felt brave enough to speak up.

With a bowed head and a cracked, wobbly voice she whispered, “You died.” 

Ronan froze his movements for just a second before his hands settled on the counter beside her small body and leaned forward. “I’m right here.”

Opal didn’t say anything to that but removed her hand from his and placed both palms on Ronan’s stubbled cheeks. They stared at each other fiercely and unwavering. 

“Non relinquam iterum. Ego vix.” She muttered.

Ronan shook his head, “Vos es adhæsit mihi.”

Opal looked somewhat satisfied with that answer because a hint of a smile twitched from the corner of her lips. She dropped her hands in her lap in acceptance. 

“Gansey and the Maggot are coming over soon, get your PJs on and get your butt back down here to greet them.” Ronan insisted. Opal looked hesitant but nodded. 

After helping her to the ground and watching her disappear upstairs, Ronan turned to Adam tiredly. He didn’t seem to know what to do now that they were alone again so Adam took his hand. It was soft yet rough from the patches of mud still splattered across it so Adam began attempting to scratch some of it away. Once that became too difficult, Adam quietly said, 

“We should change too.” 

Ronan’s voice was bleak and dry, “Yeah.” He agreed. 

They didn’t bother with a shower either but they brought in extra towels from the bathroom to soak the dirt and grime from their bodies. The light in the bedroom came from one of the lamps that sat on one of the end tables next to their bed. It was poorly lit in the room but it wasn’t too terribly important to them at the moment. They changed together without hiding much of anything. Once Adam slipped his shirt off, however, Ronan was quick to grab his wrist and gently pulled him towards him. 

“What the fuck?” He demanded airily. 

Adam looked down to where Ronan’s eyes were fixated at. He’d forgotten about drawing part of Ronan’s tattoo on his skin, hurriedly and messily with curves looking more like sharp corners and lines looking bumpier than the dirt roads. The pen he used earlier wasn’t permanent but after the ritual took place it looked like a tattoo that he’d gotten from somewhere cheap with inexperienced artists. 

Adam sighed, “I had to copy something that was yours to connect myself to you.” He explained. “I… I couldn’t just –” He breathed in sharply, squeezing his eyes shut vigorously and dug his nails into his skin. The thought of Ronan on the muddy grass in front of him, eyes dead, body white and waxy, it was becoming too much. “God, Ronan…” His voice shook. There was an intense and urgent emotion that bubbled through him. The color of indigo. The feeling of distress and a heavy heart. Adam felt Ronan’s finger trace the jagged inked lines that covered his hip and part of his tanned stomach before shifting to his fisted hands. 

Ronan dug them apart easily because Adam forced himself to relax. He opened his eyes slowly and watched when Ronan turned his palms over to inspect the newly made crescents. 

“I can feel you hurting yourself when you do that,” Ronan said quietly, feeling Adam flinch under his touch and ignored the reaction, rubbing the enflamed lines with the pad of his thumb ever so delicately.

“I’m sorry,” Adam replied melancholy.

Ronan’s eyes gazed up at him. He looked angry, with his brows raised and his Roman nose flaring, and his mouth set thinly, but Adam could feel the sadness and fear in his chest. The world seemed to stop in place just then. The only two people in existence were just the two of them and Adam so desperately wanted the memory of Ronan sacrificing himself for him to be erased because, by God, Adam wasn’t worth dying over. 

“Adam,” Ronan spoke with his jaw set, “I knew what I was doing. I couldn’t watch that fucker rip you apart. You were screaming while you were scrying and that's a sound I’ll never stop having nightmares about.” He shuttered, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again. 

Adam twisted his hand from Ronan’s grip and pushed it over Ronan’s heart. “I’ll never stop having nightmares about you either.” 

Adam heard Ronan give out a weak laugh, “We’re both pretty fucked up.”

“Yeah,” Adam agreed, “We are but I love you so much, Ronan.” 

Ronan looked at Adam with a sudden seriousness. He took a single step forward, dipping his head to rest on Adam’s. “I love you too.” He breathed out.

Adam’s chest was ignited hotly and profoundly with both his and Ronan’s emotions. The feeling of almost losing each other sat over their shoulders threateningly but they were together again. No more demon, no more death until they’re old and wrinkly… They can continue their lives with one another happily and knowingly. 

Adam lifted his chin and gave Ronan a slow, soft peck on his lips. He moved his head to the side and gave another kiss to his cheek, to his chin, to his nose… Adam wanted all of him. The emotions were bubbling high and so badly wanted to overspill. It was like playing with fire – swiping his hand over the flame quickly to avoid being burned but enough to feel the intense heat and eat the thrill of it greedily. Ronan’s hands landed over his waist, tugging him closer until they were chest to chest. They stood there, breathing heavily as they felt each other’s emotions. 

They were definitely going to need to get use to this. It was almost too much going on inside them that they needed to take several breaks from kissing and touching just to take in the feeling of love and desire.

However, tonight they just wanted to be close. They wanted to be with their friends and Opal and Chainsaw. They wanted to feel that piece of the puzzle click into place again and carry on as they normally would. It would take a while them everyone to feel that way again but this was a start.


End file.
